BLISSFUL BLACK BEAUTY ( NOKIA ASHA 501 BLACK) !!!

Dhanush: - I have heard that you have bought a new mobile handset from Nokia. What's the name of that handset?

Natwarlal: - I bought the Nokia Asha 501 handset. Actual cost of this mobile handset is INR 4600/-, but, in your local mobile store, you will get it at a price of INR 5100/-. Flipkart is selling you this item for INR 4999/- by giving you an 8 GB Memory Chip extra. That's why; I bought it from Flipkart only.

Arindam: - Ok! Ok! That's cool. But, give us some feedback about Nokia Asha 501.

Natwarlal: - Oh! It is a decent handset with a lovely touch screen. There are so many applications that you can spend around 1 or 2 hours with that handset at a stretch without feeling bored at all.

Poppatlal: - Natwar bhaiya, I have heard that this Nokia Asha 501 handset is not having Android in it. It is having a new operating system. Is it true?

Natwarlal:- Yeah! You are right. It is having a new Nokia Operating System which has been named as ‘Fastlane’. You can go from one place to another easily by swiping the touch screen from right to left or from left to right. Nokia proved it that they are still the best in providing excellent GUI interface to the customers.

Dhanush:- Are the apps working fine in this handset?

Natwarlal:- Of course! But, sorry to say, you will not get ‘Whatsapp’ in it. But, still, it hardly matters, because you have the liberty of using Nokia Chat in it. Facebook and Twitter have been installed here by default.  

Gurbinder:- Is the mobile handset hardy enough?

Natwarlal:- Of course! Yes! The polycarbonate is hardy. Moreover, you have the options to select the colour of your handset.  This model is available in different colours in the market.

Arindam:- How is the camera?

Natwarlal:- 3.2 Megapixel camera is just  an average camera in this handset. But, it is not too bad either.  Battery of this handset is of great quality. Nokia always produce some good batteries.

Poppatlal:- Sound quality?

Natwarlal:- Very impressive sound quality. No issues with that. But, one problem it has. Though, it is a dual sim phone, but, you have to use Micro Sim only.

Dhanush:- Oh! It hardly matters nowadays. Sim adapters are available anywhere. That’s why; you can cut the big Sim Cards to make it a Micro Sim in any mobile shop.  But, I have heard from other guys also that, at present, Nokia Asha 501 is the only smart phone which is giving around 90% of the features of expensive smart phones in the market. But, still, Nokia has managed to sell this model at a very low cost. That’s great, man.

Natwarlal:- I have bought the black colour  Nokia Asha 501. It is really a BLISSFUL BLACK BEAUTY. Just go and buy it. Within INR 5000, you will really get a good smart phone in your hand.

DUTY OF BENGAL PANCHAYAT ELECTION OF 2013 AT PATHAR PRATIMA BLOCK (SUNDERBANS DELTA REGION) !!!

Shakti:- In this Bengal Panchayat Election of 2013, even the Staffs of PSU Banks have been allotted the duty of a Polling Personnel. I am a key-holder of a Branch, but, still, I have been assigned the polling duty.

Arindam:- Actually, there is still too much shortage of manpower. That’s why; they are picking up many people from PSU Banks also. In earlier polls, very few staffs of PSU Banks were given the polling duty. But, in this election, they have taken too many Bank Staffs. Anyway, as per the order, we have to go for the duty.

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Sarifuddin (Presiding Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- We have collected all the polling materials from the DCRC (Distribution Centre cum Receiving Centre) of Pathar Pratima Block. We have to cross the river from Ramganga Jetty Ghat to reach Pathar Pratima Block. After reaching there, we have to go by machine-van for 45 minutes or so to reach our polling booth at West Dwarakapur area. There is no electricity and the roads are not so good. So, be prepared for that. We have been given two Armed Policemen from Bengal Police. Both these Policemen are young and from West Midnapore region. Now, I am taking one ballot box. Both of you take one ballot box each.

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Dhiren (2^nd Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Kato dur bhai...aar kato dur. We have been sitting on this machine-van for 45 minutes or so. But, still, we have not reached the booth.

Gopal (The machine-van driver):- Ei jeh Sir, we have just reached the polling booth. This is the new building of the West Dwarakapur Primary School.

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Chapadar (A Sector Officer of Pathar Pratima Block):- Sir, as per your request, all arrangements are ready. Villagers have already requested a cook to do some cooking for tonight. They will also provide some tables, benches and other things so that you can make three secret counters for polling. Officially, we cannot tell anyone to make three secret counters in any polling station. But, generally, in this type of panchayat election, where three separate ballot papers are used by each voter, it is feasible to make three secret counters to speed up the process.

Naskar (3^rd Polling Officer of Booth No.161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Abhiggatar sab samay aykta daam ashe. We were already discussing among ourselves regarding that only. Whether you permit us or not, we will make three secret counters only by taking a consensus from all polling agents of this polling booth.

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A Polling Agent of TMC:- Look, Sir! I have come here at 6.15 AM, but, the polling agents of other parties are yet to come here. They may come late intentionally to delay the start of the polling.

Arindam (1^st Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Rule is Rule! The polling will start at sharp 7 AM at any cost even if not a single polling agent is present here.

A Polling Agent of CPI (M):- Oh! The Polling agent of TMC and the polling agent of BJP are already here. Ok! Sir, now, it is 6.25 AM, show us the empty ballot boxes. We will then sign the small papers. Then, you will seal all the ballot boxes in front of us.

Sarifuddin (Presiding Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Ok! Let us start the proceedings.

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Sarifuddin (Presiding Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- It is 7 AM now. The polling starts.

Murmu (an armed cop of Bengal Police):- Hansda, have you ordered those party men of two parties to remove all the placards within 200 meters of this polling booth.

Hansda (an armed cop of Bengal Police):- I told the 1^st Polling Officer to request all the polling agents to remove those placards. All the polling agents told their respective party men to remove those placards. They have already removed those placards. You look after the queue and I will patrol outside the booth.

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A Polling agent of BJP:- Sir, within 1 hour, only 47 voters have cast their respective vote. In total, there are around 660 voters in this booth. You need to speed up. If you work slowly like this, then the polling will not end by 5 PM.

Arindam (1^st Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- I am doing this duty for the first time. Let me take some time to understand the nature of the pitch. Once I settle down well, I will score more runs rapidly. The poll will be completed well before 5 PM if all the voters plan to vote within 4 PM or so.

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Sarifuddin (Presiding Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- 1^st Polling Officer, what’s the status now after 5 hours of polling? It is 12 noon now.

Arindam (1^st Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- At present, 345 voters have casted their votes. Out of them, 206 are female voters and 139 are male voters. 

A Polling Agent of CPI (M):- Sir, this is the first time, where so many female voters have come to the polling booth to cast their votes. In earlier polls, only around 70% of female voters use to come to the polling booth.

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Pradhan (4^th Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- You are wasting some time in tearing those ballot papers from the slips. Let us do one thing. Even if a voter knows to sign, take his/her left thumb impression on the ballot paper counterfoil to speed up the process. You just check the serial number of a voter and his/her Voter ID card and then write the serial number on the counterfoil. I will take the voter’s LTI on the counterfoil and give the ballot paper to the voter after tearing it up. Then, as usual, I will make the ink-mark on the left hand finger of that voter.

Arindam (1^st Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Ok! Done!

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Sarifuddin (Presiding Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- It is 5 PM now. 1^st Polling Officer, what’s the score now?

Arindam (1^st Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Sir! It is 624 votes out of 660 voters. In this booth, total voters are 667. 7 are dead. So, number of valid voters is 660. 320 male voters and 304 female voters have cast their respective vote today. So, in total, 94.5% of voters have come to this booth. If you round it up, it is 95% which is quite good. 

Dhiren (2^nd Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- After 4 PM, only 3 voters came to cast their vote. Within 4 PM itself, it was 621 votes. Overall, it is a good polling. Good response from voters.

A Polling Agent of TMC:- Sir, you increased your speed at the 3^rd and 4^th slot. That’s why; everything got finished so early. In the adjacent booths of this area, the polling process may get end by 10 PM tonight. 

Arindam (1^st Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Ok! Thanks for the compliment. Sir, it is already 5.05 PM now. Declare the end of poll and send an SMS to Message Centre of Election Commission that the polling of this Booth No. 161 has ended successfully. 

Sarifuddin (Presiding Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Yes, I am already doing it and I hereby declare that the poll has ended. 

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A Villager of Pathar Pratima Block:- Sir, some of our villagers will also go with you all. We will be on another machine-van to follow your machine-van to ensure that no ballot-box capturing takes place. Already those incidents happened in the past. 

Naskar (3^rd Polling Officer of Booth No.161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Oh! Babah! Taai naaki! Se toh dangerous byapar! Sir! Ektu e byapare bibechona kore dyakhen. Jayega taa toh subidher noy dekshi.

Sarifuddin (Presiding Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Ok! I have no problem if some villagers accompany us till the Jetty Ghat of Pathar Pratima. 

Dhiren (2^nd Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Generally, how many bullets you are given for this duty.

Murmu (an armed cop of Bengal Police):- 30 rounds of bullets. Don’t worry; we are from West Midnapore. We have dealt with Maoists also.

 

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Pradhan (4^th Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- What’s the matter! Why the DCRC team is not accepting our ballot boxes?

Arindam (1^st Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Actually, in every paper, there should be the seal of the Polling Booth. Moreover, there should be separate documents for Zilla Parishad, Gram Panchayat and Panchayat Samiti. Some envelopes are to be sealed and some remain unsealed. Not only have that, all unused ballot papers and voter’s slips should also be kept in a separate envelope. Our Presiding Officer (PRO) has filled up all the documents but those wax sealing and stamping work is pending. 

Naskar (3^rd Polling Officer of Booth No.161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Dyakso kando! Arrey Baba! Boi ta ki mukh dyakte disse! Boi pora thakle por, eto problem hoito naa. Our PRO has not read the Manual Book properly. All other PROs have read the Manual Book. That’s why; their ballot boxes got received smoothly.

Dhiren (2^nd Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block whispering at Arindam):- Naskar Babu and Pradhan Babu are fond of giving too much lectures only. Actually, our team is like a team of dramatists and of diverse nature. Pradhan Babu is wearing a dhuti-punjabi and works in Public Affairs. Sarifuddin Babu is a Muslim teacher of a Madrasah Primary School who is fasting in this Ramzan month. You are in a PSU Bank and I am a High School Teacher. Naskar Babu is a primary school teacher who is always wearing a half-sleeve shirt and a lungi. I thought that he is a Muslim person when I saw him for the first time. He came in DCRC also by wearing a lungi only and kept on wearing that same lungi during the duty hours also. He is still wearing that lungi only.  Ha ha ha...

Arindam (1^st Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Ha ha ha...Naskar Babu is a typical and traditional villager of Rural Bengal. He still talks with the East Bengal accent while speaking Bengali.

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Sarifuddin (Presiding Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- Finally, after struggling for an hour or so, our ballot boxes got received by DCRC. They have organized some buses for various routes. Let us now take the release orders and start walking towards the Dhruvabazar Bus Stand.

Arindam (1^st Polling Officer of Booth No. 161 of Pathar Pratima Block):- We will be eagerly waiting to see which political party wins in Rural Bengal. Anyway, we have successfully completed our "DUTY OF BENGAL PANCHAYAT ELECTION OF 2013 AT PATHAR PRATIMA BLOCK (SUNDERBANS DELTA REGION).”

BETTING Vs BATTING !!!

Janardan:- Like Indian Premier League (IPL), the Indian School League (ISL) has also become famous as the cricket teams of top schools from Delhi, Kolkata, Mumbai and Chennai participate in it. You have to give 14 runs in the 1^st over of the match. Don’t worry, if you succeed, you will get 50,000 bucks.

Sreesanth:- But, how can I guarantee you that I will be able to give 14 runs in the 1^st over itself? It depends on the batsman also.

Chandila:- Oh! Come on! I am the opening batsman of St.Lawrence School team. You are the opening bowler of St.Xaviers School team. It is very easy for us to perform it. This spot-fixing will help us to earn fast cash of 50, 000 bucks each. Try to understand.

Sreesanth:-Ok! Then the deal is final. By the way, the Saint Sebastian School team is already in the final of ISL. No matter, which team reaches the final; the Saint Sebastian School team will surely win the final match because they are a strong team and all their players are in terrific form.

Janardan:- Look, I am in this bookie business since 8 years or so. The fate of any cricket match can be changed by a bookie like us. As per the betting demands, St.Lawrence school team has to lose the match against St.Xaviers school team. Don’t worry; the captain of St.Lawrence School team has also been booked by us.

Sreesanth:- My goodness! You are such an expert bookie. But, are you giving me the assurance that it will remain as a top secret?

Janardan:- Yeah! It will remain as a top secret.

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Ganga:- Sir, we watched the match between St.Lawrence and St.Xaviers school teams. 13 runs were required in the last over for St.Xaviers school to win that match. In that match, Abhinav, the captain of St.Lawrence school team bowled 1 no ball and two wide balls in that last over. Moreover, he bowled 4 full toss balls in that last over. St.Xaviers school team won that match by 2 wickets with 1 ball to spare. I smell something fishy here.

Roland (Principal of Saint Sebastian School):- Maybe you are right or maybe you are not. Time will reveal the truth automatically.

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Janardan:- Look, unless you lose this final match of ISL, your life may be at stake.

Indranil:- I don’t care about my life. I would rather die, but, I will never participate in this bloody betting business. Saint Sebastian School will win this final match of ISL at any cost and I will make it happen by hitting fours and sixes with my bat.

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Arindam:- Ganga doubted it right, Sir. We acted as spies and got the secret information about a bookie, Janardan, who tried hard to buy our Indranil. The virus of betting in IPL is also getting reflected in ISL too.

Roland:- Ok! Let me talk with Inspector Joardar regarding the arrest of that bookie, Janardan.

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Commentator Chintu:- Wow! Indranil finished the match with an over-boundary with 5 balls to spare to win this final of ISL against St. Xaviers School.

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Indranil:- Yes! We have done it, Sir. We are the ISL Champion.

Roland:- I can understand your emotion. I appreciate your sincerity, dedication and moreover; the honesty towards Cricket, the gentleman’s game. 

Arindam:- Hey! Indranil, Janardan is behind the bars now. Sreesanth and Chandila may also be arrested soon. Well played. 

Students of Saint Sebastian School:- Three cheers for Saint Sebastian School. Hip Hip Hurrah!

Bairagi (Sports Teacher of Saint Sebastian School):- Actually, this final match was a very important match in terms of the aristocratic brand value of the game of cricket because it was a final match of “BETTING Vs BATTING”.

WHITES WHITEWASHED !!!

Rathikanta:- Hurrah! Finally, India has won 4 tests in a row in a Test Series against Australia. That’s a record.

Bibhutibhushan:- Yeah! That’s a record. But, this Australian Test Team is very weak. The Australian Test Team under Steve Waugh was really a quality team. That team came to India after winning test matches in other nations. At that time, that Australian Team was the No. 1 Test Team. It was the leadership of Sourav Ganguly and extraordinary batting of VVS Laxman that helped India to win that Classic Test match at Eden Gardens even after getting forced for follow-on. In that Indian team, spinners also bowled well.

Hemlatha:- That was Sourav Ganguly Vs Steve Waugh. Both were legendary captains with legendary players in their respective team. But, in this Test Series, Mahendra Singh Dhoni is a far better captain than Michael Clarke. Had Ricky Ponting been the captain of this Australian Test Cricket Team, then it would have been a very competitive Test Series. Moreover, only Watson ad Clarke are too experienced enough to play Test Cricket on the pitches of Indian subcontinents. All the other players are too young and immature to play spinning tracks of India.

Madhuchandrima:-  Our Indian Test Squad is also very young. Dravid and Laxman have retired from Test Cricket. Only Sachin is too experienced. Even Dhoni can be regarded as a good experienced Test player by now. All the others are so young in Test Cricket. But, still these youngsters played good cricket.

Arindam:- Yeah! That’s the positive thing in this Border-Gavaskar Test Series of 2013. Murali Vijay is a good player. As Gambhir and Sehwag are struggling with their form, both Cheteswar Pujara and Shikhar Dhawan got the chance. Both Pujara and Dhawan clicked. In the bowling side also, Bhubaneswar Kumar is bowling well. All eyes were on Ashwin only, but, Jadeja and Ojha also bowled well. 

Bibhutibhushan:- This Australian Team started off well in the series, but, somehow, their captain was not having any Mariner’s Compass.

Rathikanta:- Are you seeing any class pace bowlers like McGrath or Brett Lee in this Australian Test Squad. Siddle and Johnson are good bowlers but not the great bowlers to vary their line and length too often in an over.

Madhuchandrima:- The last test match was somewhat competitive. All the other three test matches looked totally one-sided. Unlike other Australian Test teams, this team lacks killer instincts. On the other hand, this new Indian Test Squad is always hungry for runs or wickets. In the past also, we have seen many Test Series, where Indian Test team won the series before all the matches are played. But, in the last match, India used to lose the game. That’s why; we thought that in the last test match of this series, India may play badly to lose the game.

Hemlatha:- Yeah! I was thinking the same. Lyon bowled like a lion in the last test match to grab 7 wickets, but, it was not enough. India bounced back well with their spinners. After all, it is the pitch of Feroz Shah Kotla stadium, where the ball always turns. There was no Anil Kumble in this Indian team; otherwise, Australia could have lost by an innings in the last test. The ball was sometimes bouncing at a very low height also.

Arindam:- All is well if it ends well. In all the other three tests, those pitches were not spinning tracks, but sporting tracks. So, if you say, that Australia lost the series, because they are not good players of spin bowling, then I can’t agree to it. Actually, Australia did not have good middle order batsmen. Indian Test team must not feel too over-confident or get carried away after this win, because, England, Pakistan and South Africa are having a much better balanced Test Squad. Finally, India showed the middle finger to Australia. Anyway, Greg Chappell and Andrew Symmonds may be feeling very sad and Sourav Ganguly and Harbhajan Singh may be dancing out of joy as the Border-Gavaskar trophy of 2013 became the Test Series of “WHITES WHITEWASHED”.