COUNTER-ATTACK YOUR ENEMIES TO WIN THE WAR

Chirantan: - My mood is totally off today. For 2 months, I am trying hard to get a job. But, the market condition is so bad; there are hardly any good openings for me. What can I do? I am totally frustrated and today morning, my college friend Suchitra called me up on my mobile and gave big lectures that I am an useless fellow not to crack a job, despite having B-TECH degree in Electronics and MBA in Marketing from ICFAI University.

Palash: - Oh! Suchitra, the great cunt of our college called you up and gave lectures. Who the hell is she? As a HR Manager of Mahindra Satyam, she was only fond of showing her big ass and breasts by wearing all those fancy skinny tops and jeans. Performance wise and knowledge wise, she was just a useless girl. Only, she knew how to do oiling and buttering on the guy’s asses.

Vikram: - Yes, you are absolutely right, and that is the reason why she was put into the ‘Corporate Reserve’ pool and was told to resign. Now, that bloody girl got a job in a reputed MNC, as her hubby works in that company and referred her name. After getting the job, now she is giving lectures. These girls really have nothing to lose in their life. From childhood, they will feed on their father’s property. In College, they will suck their boyfriend’s wallet like parasites. If they get a job, then they will start utilizing their male colleagues like anything. If they don’t get a job also, they will get married to some rich guys and enjoy their life. And at the end of the day, they will shout, ‘Behind every successful man, there is a woman’. But the real fact is that these girls always run after successful boys only.

Niloy: - We are all getting frustrated for not getting any jobs. But look at this idiot, Arindam. Every morning, he goes for a SAP FICO training class, then sleeps the entire afternoon like a Kumbhakarna, then he studies ‘Competition Success Review’ magazine in the evening and after midnight, he will flirt with girls in Facebook like a night owl. Don’t you feel ashamed and frustrated that you are also not getting any job?

Arindam: - Dhaath teri ki, now you people are bursting your balloon of frustrations on me. I am in my own relaxed world, you see. Satyam is giving me 9000 bucks every month, for sleeping in my house. So, what is the need to worry, he he he…And, by the way, if you shout at the top of your voice, ‘I am frustrated’, ‘I am a useless fellow’; are you going to get any job? Then, why the hell are you shouting. Just relax. Feel yourself like a Robinson Crusoe, staying at a lonely island. Now take some time to make your own ship and then again you will surely sail into the sea.

Chirantan: - If any girl would have given you such lectures, then you would have felt the frustration.

Palash: - Yes, you are also lucky to not have any girlfriend.

Arindam: - I don’t care whether a girl is a whore or she is my girlfriend. The point is that why you will give any girl a space to dominate over you. If she is supportive, co-operative and motivating you to do some constructive thing, then it is ok. But, if she is trying to sue you up, by showing her attitude, just kick her ass and always keep her under your boots, no matter, whoever that cunt is? I have always done that in my life, and maybe that is why, I am always tension free. You people have never participated in any athletics or football or cricket tournament? Sports teach us how to win a game. I always liked the football team of Netherlands, because of their counterattacking nature. Swami Vivekananda told us about ‘Self-Enlightenment’. What is that basically? It is your inner power to motivate yourself. Aamir Khan is not a fool, when he says ‘I only compete with myself not with any Khans’. Why Kishore Kumar sang the song, ‘Kuch toh log kahengey, logon ka kaam hai kahe naa’? God has given you two ears and that has its significance. Listen from one ear and throw it out from the other ear. You are your own master and whoever stops you to reach your goal, just make them slaves by hunting them. I am not saying to go for a war with missiles and bombs. Implement strategic steps of Chess game, to reach your goal. Always “COUNTERATTACK YOUR ENEMIES TO WIN THE WAR”.

Niloy: - I am 200% sure that Arindam has gone mad, that is why; he is speaking bullshits. Ok guys; let us leave this mad person alone in his own world. Let us watch the TV now.

FLIRT WITH FLIRTY GIRLS ONLY

Jignesh: - No, today, I stayed at home, as it is a rainy day and my wife requested me to stay at home. Today afternoon was a sexy afternoon, as both of us slept nicely holding tightly each other, while remaining totally naked on the bed. She cooked ‘Khichadi’ today. The taste was superb. Ei, nowadays, why are you flirting with Monami? Now, she has started loving you. She was asking me about your past. Boss, she is a very good girl. I know her since our school days. You are just flirting. You such bad boy is not fit to be a boyfriend for such a good girl. Also, one of my friends, Deepak has already proposed her. He is a good boy. But, because of you in the middle, Deepak is getting no response from Monami. Please, boss, don’t become a bone in that Mutton Kabab.

Arindam: - So, you have come here to warn me. Well, I am also not serious about that girl. I was just doing the time-pass with her. But, I thought that she is also a flirty person like me; that is why, I was having fun. Now, she will truly start loving me, how will I know that. Don’t worry, I am a natural actor. I will play such a game that she will start hating me and Deepak will be her hubby. Just relax.

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Monami: - You have never told me that Arindam is your friend. Just excuse me. I need to go to the wash room.

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Deepak: - Thanks brother, for coming to our engagement party. I am grateful to you. For your game plan, today, I have got my Monami. She hates you very much. But, one thing, I don’t understand that if she really hates you, then why she has already declared to me that if she gives birth to a baby boy, then his name will be kept as ‘Arindam’.

Arindam: - I am a flirtbaaz, but she is not. She still loves me. She has not invited me to this engagement party and also you have never told her that you have become my friend only 2 weeks back. She is a smart girl to understand my dramas. Do you think that she has gone to the wash room to change her ‘Stayfree’ or ‘Whisper’ pads? No boss, she is crying in her washroom basin. Now, I am not the Rajesh Khanna of ‘Amar Prem’ to tell her ‘I hate tears rey’. You are going to become her future husband. So, just tell her that more she will try to forget me; the more she will remember me. It is better to keep my memories in one corner of her heart. Hey, who is that sweet girl in this party? I asked her name, but she just smiled at me and there were some tears in her eyes.

Deepak: - Oh, she is Roshni. She is a handicap. She is dumb by birth. That is why; she felt emotional, when you flirted with her and asked her name. But, she is a very decent girl. You such bad boy is not fit for her.

Arindam: - I really liked that dumb girl. Just let me know, if no one wants to marry her. Then, I will marry her.

Jignesh: - Ei, your type of girl has already come to this party. Look there, she is Nina, wearing a sexy mini skirt. She is hot, sexy and flirty. She changes her boyfriend every month. Just enjoy her tonight. Just keep this pack of Durex with you and never dare to look back at Roshni or Monami.

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Nina: - You gave your introduction to me by saying that you are a very bad boy. Even people regard me as a bad girl, because I am too much open. But, according to God, no one is good or bad, it is one’s own perception about his or her lifestyle, which makes him or her acceptable or unacceptable to the society. Maybe, that is why your friends always warn you and says, “FLIRT WITH FLIRTY GIRLS ONLY”. Just forget it. You have the caps with you. Just, let me feel your one night wild passionate love towards me. Come on, let us leave this party and start driving towards my apartment and there you should bang me hard as you can, dear.

SELL YOURSELF TO CRACK A JOB

Sridharan: - See, you are a smart and talented girl. Our company needs you such young lady. You have already scored in your previous 5 rounds. This is your last round, the HR round. I can easily give you the offer letter, but before that you have to pass another test. You have to satisfy me. You take your time. Tomorrow evening, come to this place at 6.30 PM. All details are written in this paper. After you pass that test, you will be a part of our reputed company. I will be waiting to see you at this place tomorrow.

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Rekha: - What you would have done, if you were in a similar position?

Arindam: - Well, I am always a deadly mongoose for any HR Manager who acts like a snake. But, in your case, there is no other choice. You worked hard to pass all those 5 rounds of recruitment process. Now, in the last round, if you have to vibrate something inside your important hole, then that is not a big issue. I have already made you an experienced player in that domain.

Rekha: - My relation with you is somewhat different. That time, you were my boyfriend and now we are just best friends. At least, don’t regard me as a bitch. And now, Pritam is my boyfriend. I am totally committed to him both mentally and physically. I cannot break his faith on me. I know that my family condition is not so good. My dad kicked out my elder brother, Ravi, out of his house, because Ravi married a scheduled caste girl. Pritam cannot marry me now, as he has recently lost his job and yet to get a new one. It is very difficult for my retired father to look after the family with that little bank pension. Ok, I have no other choice. I will satisfy him tomorrow to get that offer letter. After all, someone rightly said, “SELL YOURSELF TO CRACK A JOB”.

Arindam: - Ok, as you wish! See you tomorrow. Good Night.

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Prasanna: - Who the hell are you? How dare you speak like that to me, on the phone? Do you know; who am I?

Arindam: - Hey, boss, don’t shout. I repeat once again. I am Mr.X calling from a PCO booth. I want to spend a lovely night with you. I know that your age is 35 years and I am just 26. But age hardly matters to me. If your 37 years old hubby can request a young lady of 23 years to satisfy him, then why can’t I request the same thing to his wife? Please control your husband and the name of the victim is Rekha. Make sure that she gets the offer letter without satisfying your bloody perverted hubby.

Prasanna: - You are not aware of my powers. If I complain about you to the Police, you will be in jail.

Arindam: - Your power is limited in that corporate world. Outside the corporate world, there is another world, where my gang men rule. It takes only 15 minutes to kill a person by a well-planned road accident. From now on, better drive your Audi safely on the Hyderabad Roads. Wish you best of luck, Mrs. Prasanna. Good Bye.

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Rekha: - Do you know that today morning, that Mr. Sridharan called me up and said that I have been recruited. He was laughing over the phone and was saying that he was just testing me whether I am a good girl or a bad girl. He never had any intentions to have sex with me. Hurrah, I have got the job. You are a very bad person to accuse him like that.

Arindam: - I feel proud to be the No.1 worst boy of the world. At least, you are lucky to get me as your friend. But, don’t be complacent. There will be many traps like this in the corporate world. Don’t ever believe in the concept “SELL YOURSELF TO CRACK A JOB”. Congrats for getting the job. I want a nice treat from you. See you later. Good night, dear.

MUSLIMS OF MIDDLE EAST ASIA

Jamal: - Inshallah, at last, these jihadists, who masterminded the 1993 Mumbai blast have been sentenced to death. But, why the Indian government takes too much time in giving punishment to terrorists. The case of 1993 is getting resolved in 2009. When will they punish the terrorists, who did the blast in Lumbini Park, Mecca Masjid and Gokul Chat shop of Hyderabad? I lost my relatives in those blasts.

Arindam: - Why the hell are you concerned about these things? Terrorism is normal in your religion. You are also a Muslim and those jihadists are also Muslims.

Sirajul: - No, Arindam, that is the misconception you people are having. I know that you hate every Jihadists, who are basically Terrorists. But, we, the Muslims are not all Jihadist. There are exceptions. Don’t listen to any communal Maulvi. If you, by yourself go through the books of Quran, you will find that no where, our Prophet Muhammad has mentioned about violence and these kind of religious war. Musalman means Musallam Imaan. If you go by history pages, you will find that the Middle East Asian people were nomads and barbarians. The concept of religious war came into the picture after the Karbala episode. Even in our religion, Shia and Sunni fight with each other. Then, gradually, these kinds of violence transformed into terrorism, due to USA and UK. USA created two terrorists. One is Saddam Hussain and another is Osama Bin Laden. Later, they tried to utilize them to conquer all the oil reserves of Middle East Asia. Saddam came to know about their tricks and started terrorism. The new barbarian culture of Taliban’s came into power in Afghanistan. Russia got divided. All those divided states formed their own Muslim union in the Middle East. And what to say about UK; they already created the poison by forming Pakistan. But, if you analyze, we the Indian Muslims are Indian by blood only. In India, majority of Muslims were Hindu before the Mughals era. The untouchables or the tribal people of Hindu community, who never used to get any acceptance and respect from the society, got transformed into Muslims due to the goodwill factors of Emperor Akbar, King Shah Jahan and Jahangir. Later, Aurangzeb forcefully converted many Hindus into Muslims, by imposing Jaziya taxes as well as taking violent actions against them. It was due to the communal attitude of Aurangzeb; Shivaji, the great Maratha revolted against him, and then in the long run, these British people added fuel to the communal fire between Hindus and Muslims. It is true that today many Muslims, who are going to Middle East countries for work, are getting transformed into Jihadists.

Arindam: - Jai Shree Ram…those jihadists are the terrorists. Their mentality is such that, they do not have any respect for their mother and sisters too. Today, they are brainwashing the Indian Muslims to train them as jihadists. What Taslima has written in her books, applies to the culture of jihadists only. Even, I have heard that they also abuse Indian Haj pilgrim in many ways.

Jamal: - Hey, why do you say, ‘Jai Shree Ram’ in every sentence? It sounds communal to me.

Arindam: - If you can say ‘Inshallah’ in every sentence, then why can’t we say ‘Jai Shree Ram’, ‘Har Har Mahadev’ and ‘Jai Bajrang Bali’ in our sentences. If you have faith in your God, then we also believe in our God. And let me clarify you that ‘Hindutva’ is not a communal concept. It is not about Hindu religion. ‘Hindutva’ is a concept implemented by our Bhagwan Ram Chandra, which clearly says that as a son or daughter of your motherland, you should protect and save your own motherland at any cost, no matter, what is your caste, creed or religion. That is the reason why we taught a lesson to those jihadists who shouted slogans “Pakistan Zindabad, Hindustan Murdabad”, when Shoaib Akhtar bowled out Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid in two consecutive balls at a Test match in Eden Gardens. If Shahrukh Khan requests us not to sue any ‘Khan’ then, we will request all ‘Khans’ to be a patriotic Indians like ‘Kabir Khan’ of ‘Chak De India’ film.

Sirajul: - I am not saying that all Muslims are good. There are some jihadists who are the main terrorists. But, for that you cannot blame the entire Muslim community. That is unfair. Jihadists are the black spots of Islam, and we also hate them. Dear Arindam, always remember that “ALL MUSLIMS ARE NOT TERRORISTS”. JAI JIND.