THE WINNING COMBINATION OF KKR SQUAD IN IPL-3

Pratim: - in respect to previous years IPL tournaments, I think that this time the Kolkata Knight Riders is looking like a balanced team.

Shiva: - Boss, the main thing is performance. What is the use of regarding it as a balanced team, if the players cannot perform well?

Rinku: - Sometimes, these players perform well, but they will not win the match. In those cases, there is no value of those performances. So, the main focus should be on the final result or outcome of those performances. Each player need to perform in such a manner, that their innings will help the team to win the match. That should be their focus. If they start believing in themselves that they will win all the matches, then they are sure to win at least 8 out of 10 matches. A team needs to play like a single unit, without thinking about, who is a superstar or who is just an ordinary player.

Moni: - Yeah, you are right. To motivate the entire team, a captain should lead from the front by setting an example. Look at the Rajasthan Royals. At the start of the IPL-3 tournament, they lost many matches. Everyone thought that maybe this Rajasthan Royals team will go out of the competition. But, they came back with 4 consecutive wins to grab the 3^rd spot in the IPL-3 tournament table. Who is motivating them? It is none other than their captain Shane Warne. There is hardly any superstar in that squad. But, still they are winning matches, because they have proper understanding, co-operation, support and unity among themselves. This is the key to success for any team.

Arindam:- He he he…but when it comes to the analysis of Kolkata Knight Riders Team, we have seen that all the domestic players have failed to perform except one or two of them. Ishant Sharma is a total flop in the bowling department. Sometimes, Shane Bond also bowls like an ordinary bowler.

Pratim: - However, this time, the KKR squad has got many foreign players than in any other IPL. In the first IPL, Shoaib Akhtar came in very late. Ricky Ponting was injured. Mcullum lost his form as the tournament progressed. In the 2^nd IPL, the picture was quite similar. But, this time, there are no Pakistani players. KKR team has terminated the contract with Ricky Ponting. In that place, they have taken Shane Bond. He is not so a bad bowler. It is T-20 game. Here, a bowler can be thrashed at any point of time.

Shiva: - Why Saurav Ganguly always comes out to open the innings, I don’t understand. Had he been there in 3^rd or 4^th spot, then it will help the team to score runs at the slog overs, after the fall of 2 wickets. Firstly, he takes time to adjust with the pitch and secondly, when you are not having a flying start, there you are losing around 30% of the match. Opening the innings and wicket-keeping behind the stumps are specialist roles. You cannot give that responsibility to anybody. Manoj Tiwary is a player who is fit for opening, because he plays like a sheet anchor in the initial overs and then starts banging the ball, once he is well set. Chris Gayle is like a cool thunderstorm. He will devastate your team bowlers with his cool flat shots. He will just chip a ball and it crosses the boundary.

Rinku: - David Hussey has come. Mcullum will join shortly. Angelo Mathews is the surprise package. He is really a good all rounder of this team. He knows how to vary the pace of the ball. Owais Shah is a good batsman; provided that you give him some time to get used to that pitch. Langeveldt is also a good bowler. He also knows how to bat. That is his plus point in respect to Shane Bond. Chateswar Pujara and Rohan Gavaskar are test players. Laxmi Ratan Shukla is a good all rounder, but is yet to perform well.

Moni: - Murali Karthik has been the most economical bowler in this IPL-3 tournament. He bowled smartly to restrict the batsmen to a certain extent. But, there is no other spinner in this team to give him support. Gayle, Bead Hodge, R Gavaskar or Hussey are part-time spinners. Ajit Agarkar is good but Ashok Dinda has more potential to become a better bowler. Dinda is yet to learn how to do good fielding. Ajit Agarkar has no guarantee. It is like a gamble, if you keep him in your team. He can take two wickets in an over and in the very next over; he can give away 23 runs also. I will prefer Dinda or LR Shukla rather than Agarkar. Ishant Sharma should learn how to do tricky bowling. Is he very shy in front of Wasim Akram or Dav Whatmore?

Shiva: - As a wicket-keeper, Wriddhiman Saha is doing his job well. No complaints about that. But, he needs to be more alert during the slog overs to save those unnecessary singles. Saurav Ganguly also has one serious problem. Unlike Sachin Tendulkar, he never tries to convert singles into doubles to pressurize the opponent fielders. Why Ajantha Mendis is not even experimented in any match till now, is still a wonder to me?

Arindam: - Ok, ok, guys. After a long discussion, let me jot down the entire list. “THE WINNING COMBINATION OF KKR SQUAD IN IPL-3” will be (Manoj Tiwary), (Chris Gayle/ Mcullum), (David Hussey/Brad Hodge), (Saurav Ganguly), (Angelo Mathews/Mosrafe Mortaza , (Chateswar Pujara/Rohan Gavaskar), (Wriddhiman Saha), (LR Shukla/A Agarkar), (Murali Karthik), (Shane Bond/ Langeveldt/ Ajantha Mendis) and (Ashok Dinda/Ishant Sharma). But, this team needs to be formed as per the strength and weaknesses of the opponent team as well as the pitch report of the ground, where the match will be played. The batting order should not be changed, unless you are chasing a big total or you are in a bad position in terms of runs in the scoreboard while batting first.

PLAY LIKE UNDERDOGS TO WIN RACES LIKE DARK HORSES

Brajogopal: - Kolkata Knight Riders Team has lost three consecutive matches. They have coaches like Wasim Akram and Dave Whatmore, but all is going in vain.

Nandalal: - Is Dave Whatmore, that coach who helped Sri Lanka to lift the World Cup? I don’t think so. Maybe, that was another coach. I think that Shahrukh Khan has again made a wrong team selection.

Kantilal: - No, no, the team selection is ok. But, the biggest problem is that there are too many talented foreign players in the squad. The domestic players in the squad of Knight Riders Team are not so good. This created confusion for Ganguly. He can only use 4 foreign players, and is unable to take the correct decision about whom to select or reject. Moreover, the pace bowlers of this KKR team are yet to learn the tricks from Wasim Akram. They are yet to learn smart bowling rather than hitting the ball at the same length and line with same pace.

Bilal: - They are repeating the same old story of IPL-1. Again, the Kolkata Knight Riders will come first from the bottom end of the chart. Ganguly is also taking some bad decisions, relying on his ego. For the sake of the team, if he comes at the middle order, it will give immense strength to the batting line up. Let Tiwary, Hodge and Gayle do the hard hitting in the initial overs. Don’t worry about the wicket. Just keep on attacking the bowlers consistently. At the middle and slog overs, Ganguly can easily do the hard hitting. But, alas, can they deliver that?

Arindam: - Why not? Of course, they can; provided that they gain self-confidence in them. The players are lacking self-confidence. That is why; they are always in double mind, before going for the counter-attack. Look at Gayle. He stays there like a cool cucumber. He waits patiently for the right moment and the right ball to hit it away over the fence.

Brajogopal: - Have you not seen the match of KKR against Rajasthan Royals in the first leg of IPL-3? The KKR batsmen were so patient in their approach that they started attacking the bowlers only after the 18^th over.

Kantilal: - KKR team is not an Australian Team, who has tremendous hunger under their belly. I still remember the captaincy of Steve Waugh of Australia. He used to bounce back with his Australian Team in any tournament. Even look at Adam Gilchrist. In IPL-2, the Deccan Chargers lost many initial matches, but they came back with some consecutive wins.

Bilal: - in any game, a champion team always bounces back during the crisis hours. In football, I am a supporter of Mohun Bagan Team. I also like the Argentina football team. I am not a fan of Brazilian football team, but still I am telling you the secret about why they are a champion team. Consider the example of any world cup, which has been lifted by Brazil. In those World Cup, the Brazil Team has started with a defeat in the first match. Then, maybe, they won one match and drawn other one to qualify to the next level by sheer luck. They will improve their performance a little in quarter final. In the semi final, they will play in a very satisfactory manner. A die-hard fan of Brazil football will say that, ‘This Brazil team will not win the world cup final. They play such a sloppy football.’ In the final match, it is an entirely different Brazil football team. They will play like tigers. You will be stunned to see their performance. You will say, ‘Is it the same team, which played so badly in the league matches of this tournament.’ These qualities make a champion team.

Arindam: - You have cited a perfect example. Only the Champion team knows that the ashes are the end-product of any fire breakout, because the Phoenix has to rise from those ashes only. That is why, we always say that “PLAY LIKE UNDERDOGS TO WIN RACES LIKE DARK HORSES”.

AWESOME APRIL FOOLS' DAY OF 2010

Postman: - Postman! Postman! Is there anybody inside the house?

Bulti: - Oh, Postman bhaya. Why are you shouting? Can’t you see the letter box outside our house? Just drop the letter inside it and go. I will open it later.

Postman: - Are you not aware of the new rules and regulations prescribed by the Indian Post Offices. Before dropping the letter to the recipient’s letter box, we need to alert them that there is a letter for them.

Bulti: - Ok, ok, thanks a lot.

*****************

Bulti: - Wow, this is just amazing. Mom, Dad, Bhaiya, where are you all? I have good news to share with you.

Pramila Devi: - What happened, Bulti? Why are you dancing with excitement? What is written in that letter?

Bulti: -This is a Job Offer letter for Saheb bhaiya from ‘ALTRA TECH INDUSTRIAL DEVELOPMENT CORPORATION (ATIDC)’.

Chinmoy Babu: - Saheb, o, Saheb, kothay geli re. tui ki kono company tey apply korechili naaki? Tor naamey appointment letter esechey. You have got a job in ATIDC as a Junior Engineer. The date of joining is on 1^st April 2010 in Kolkata itself.

Saheb: - That’s fantastic. I applied to this company, after seeing their advertisement in the daily Bengali newspaper ‘ANANDABAZAAR PATRIKA’. It is written in the offer letter that the current CTC is 38,000 bucks per month. But, before that, I need to pay a Demand Draft of 1500 bucks in the name of ‘Altra Tech Industrial Development Corporation’ payable at Chennai within 12^th March 2010. After receiving the DD, they will send another letter mentioning about the Venue of their Kolkata branch, where I need to join on 1^st April 2010.

Pramila Devi: - Is it not a Kolkata based company? The managing director of ATIDC has signed this letter and that too with a Green colored sketch pen ink. Why a managing director will sign at the below of his name, rather than signing on the top of his name, ‘S. Banerjee’? No contact number and email id provided.

Bulti: - aah, maa, tumi na satyi. Dada ekta etoh bhalo chakri peyeche, and you are finding out the flaws in his job offer letter.

Pramila Devi: - Jaa bhalo bujhish kar, but, still there is something fishy in it. Why a company will provide a job offer letter, without conducting any written test and interview. And, why a company will ask for money to a jobseeker?

Chinmoy Babu: - aah, ei sab niye matha kharap kore laabh nei. Saheb, just go to SBI today to make the DD and then post it to their address:- Altra Tech Industrial Development Corporation, Post Box No. 31, Villupuram Village, Tamil Nadu – 605602

*******************

Inspector Arindam: - So, this is the entire case. Hmm…you should have lodged the FIR, the moment you received that fake job offer letter. Instead of doing that, you posted them a DD of 1500 bucks. Then, you received another letter containing the address of their branch office in Kolkata, where you were told to join from 1^st April 2010. How can you find the office address of ATIDC in Kolkata, as the address provided by them is false? The address they provided you is: - 21/3, XL Block, 8^th Floor, Maryland Towers, Sector V, Saltlake – 700091. How can you find Maryland Towers, if it does not exist at all? Your 1500 bucks have gone into the water. It’s a lesson for all you such foolish jobseekers. But, there has to be bank accounts in the name of ‘Altra Tech Industrial Development Corporation’, otherwise, how can they request for Demand Drafts? We have to find out the name of that bank.

Saheb: - Really, I have done a blunder. On this 1^st April of 2010, I kept on roaming in the streets of Sector V to find their office. In this recession time, fake company people are fooling the jobseekers like this.

Inspector Arindam: - Don’t get disappointed. These things happen, but you need to be more alert to avoid such “AWESOME APRIL FOOLS’ DAY OF 2010”.

NATURAL SURROGACY

Meera: - Is there no chance for me to become pregnant?

Dr. Arindam: - No, Mrs. Meera, you cannot become pregnant anymore. You have to become mentally strong. I can understand your pain. You gave birth to a dead baby boy 15 months ago. But, that case was so critical that the doctor had no other choice rather than to go for scissor operation.

Meera: - Doctor, I am mentally strong, but not my hubby. I can see through his mind. He was excited when I was pregnant. He had so many dreams about his child. But, who can win over destiny. It was written in my destiny. My married life is like a barren land now.

Dr. Arindam: - There is nothing to react like this. It is not in anyone’s control. If your destiny is playing games with you, then you have to fight against it rather than escaping from it like cowards. Why don’t you people go for adoption? See, if Susmita Sen and Angelina Jolie can adopt babies, why can’t you? You are just an ordinary woman.

Meera: - I have no problem, doctor. But, my hubby is not prepared to it. He wants his own baby. Now, I cannot give him divorce and tell him to marry another girl, as he wants a baby. As per Hindu marriage law, a person cannot marry another woman, if his wife is not giving him divorce. I am totally confused. I love him so much. It was our love marriage. How can I leave him? I would rather commit suicide before signing on divorce paper.

Dr. Arindam: - aah…Mrs. Meera; you are becoming too much emotional now. Is your hubby open to commercial surrogacy? In this case, we will infuse the semen of your hubby inside the ovary of another woman, who is ready to give birth to a baby. In that case, your hubby will also get his own baby and you will also become its mother. The woman, who will act as a surrogate mother will demand some money and will never disturb your married life. They just give birth to a baby for earning money. That is their profession. If you hubby is open to this suggestion, then just let me know about it. I will arrange everything.

*********************

Shambhu: - My wife wants me to go for commercial surrogacy. Now, tell me, what should I do? I also love her. I cannot tell her to give me divorce. But, at the same time, I am not in favor of reproducing a baby in another woman’s womb by commercial surrogacy. Already many European countries have banned commercial surrogacy because the baby reproduced in that procedure is prone to many deadly diseases and genetic disorders. There is no guarantee also that the baby reproduced will live for many years and too in a healthy manner. You tell me, what I should do now. I cannot see my baby dying again in front of me.

Neelam: - Ei Shambhu, please don’t be so disheartened, dear. If you are skeptical about commercial surrogacy, then I can solve that problem. You tell your wife that you are open to the suggestion of commercial surrogacy. After that, arrange a private appointment with Dr. Arindam. I also need to talk to Dr. Arindam. After all, I am your ex-girlfriend. At present, I am a divorcee as well as the mother of two baby girls. I can again reproduce a baby; not an issue. In our college life, we always had safe sex and then we broke up due to some silly reasons. God has again given us the chance to ignite those romantic and fiery desires of our mind towards each other. But, this time, just don’t use any protection. The beds of my room are always welcome for you.

*********************

Dr. Arindam: - Ok, Mr. Shambhu and Ms. Neelam, as you wish! Just enjoy your time in bed, but very secretly. Mrs. Meera should not get any hint that instead of commercial surrogacy, you people are going for “NATURAL SURROGACY”.

MODERNIZE THE FIRE BRIGADE OF INDIA

Santosh: - People always blame us. As a fireman, what else can we do rather than trying our level best to bring the fire under control? No one complains against the Municipal Corporations. Those corrupted Mayors and the Civil Engineers of Municipal Corporations will take bribe from the promoters and will sanction illegal plans for constructing buildings. The Electricity boards of India never bother to do regular check-ups of the newly constructed buildings to see whether the electrical wirings are safe or not.

Fatima: - What about your departments? Hardly, I have seen Fire Ministers of any state in India taking any initiative to check whether the fire safety is maintained in all the buildings or not. There is no concept of Fire Inspector in India. In our country, every month, the Fire Inspectors will come and inspect all building. If they find anything wrong about that building regarding the fire safety, then they will give 2 warnings to the owner of that building. If the owner of the building does not take any step to maintain fire safety in that building, then an FIR will be lodged against him/her, and will be arrested, if any fire breaks out in that building in future.

Arindam: - Don’t compare your country with India. Here the Supreme Court as well as the Central Government loves to sleep like Rip Van Winkle. How many fire stations can you see in big cities of India? If a fire breaks out in the northern part of the city, the firemen start their journey from the southernmost tip of the city, as there is no fire station in the northern region. Before the firemen reach the spot, everything has been already destroyed in the fire. Within every 4 Km, there should be a fire station.

Vijay: - The Police department as well as the fire brigade of India is not so quick in tackling the disaster caused by fire. They lack co-operation among themselves in times of crisis.

Santosh: - You people are not talking about the callous attitude of the general public in India. They will buy gas cylinders from local vendors which often burst in their kitchen and causes fire. The LPG providers like Bharat Gas and others never sent any inspector from their side to check the kitchen of their customers. What to say about big corporate and offices? The HR and the Security Team of those companies do not even give proper training to their employees about how to tackle themselves, during a fire breakout.

Arindam: - It is not always true. It is the other way round. Whenever there is a fire drill, the employees just regard it as a joke and fun time. As a net result, whenever there is a real fire breakout, employees start panicking instead of keeping their head cool and opting for the fire exit door.

Vijay: - in our earlier days, there used to be staircases outside the building that acted as a fire exit way. But, nowadays, the buildings are like closed circuits or matchboxes, with no proper planned ventilations at all. Whenever there is a power cut, the inside of those buildings look like a cave, full of darkness. What is the use of a building, where fresh air cannot enter? Those are bullshits constructions. The qualities of Civil Engineers and Architects have degraded. They only know to construct multi-storied buildings with the electrical points of Air Conditioner machines. There were also instances where fire broke out inside the building due to the burst of A/C machines. Moreover, the plastic or PVC pipes are also deadly. If there is a fire in a building, then these PVC pipes acts as catalysts. Even the plastic sheets are deadly. It is feasible to make buildings, where strong glasses are used. At least, you can come out of that building during fire breakouts.

Fatima: - The undisciplined & callous Indian people never learn from their mistakes. Hence, there will be more fire breakouts. So, it’s better to “MODERNIZE THE FIRE BRIGADE OF INDIA”.