CITY OF GANGRAPE !!!

Paromita: - The Cinderella hours are no more in Kolkata as a woman got gang raped at Park Street. The victim got coined as a characterless woman. That’s why; those rapists were regarded as innocent people by the owner of the Trinamool Congress Party.

Sushovan: - We have heard that the main accused person in the Park Street gang rape case had some physical relationships with one Muslim actress of Tollywood film industry of Kolkata. What a shame! The film producers and directors should think thrice before giving any work to that Muslim actress. Accha! What happened to another rape case, where a woman was taken to Rajarhat by a cab driver and then raped brutally?

Nandini: - Oh! Rape cases are still pending. Who has time to investigate on those rape cases? As per the policemen of Kolkata, all the girls and women of Kolkata have become characterless. So, let them get raped anywhere, anytime by anyone. A victim went to lodge an FIR in a Police Station of South Kolkata. The Policemen labeled that girl as a characterless girl.

Girish:-Basically, the Bengali Policemen are cowards by nature. 90% of the Policemen are just puppets in the hands of politicians and many of them don’t give any respect to women. So, how can you expect any help from those policemen? If a policeman has helped you in times of danger in Kolkata, then you should feel very lucky about it.

Sushovan:- Nowadays, our Bengali society has become a frustrated society. Even the minor girls are getting raped by rapists in Kolkata itself. 

Arindam: - We used to point fingers at Delhi by saying that Kolkata is a safer metro city for women. At least, in the era of CPI (M), Kolkata was really a safe place for women, but, at present, Kolkata has become the haven of rapists. Everyone knows that if a woman gets raped in Kolkata, then Mamata Banerjee will regard it as a conspiracy by CPI (M). So, all the hooligans of CPI (M) who have joined TMC are enjoying themselves by raping any woman anytime.

Paromita:-Yesterday only, a woman got gang raped in Chetla at around 7.20 PM by some goons. Those goons kidnapped the woman and then gang raped her inside a white colored four-wheeler.

Nandini: - No punishment will be given to those rapists. Either the goons of Mamata Banerjee will try to convince the public that the woman provoked them to rape or those goons will give death threats to that victim if she does not withdraw the case completely.

Girish:-Already, that victim has withdrawn the case and changed her statement. One who commits a crime and one who supports it; are both criminals in the eyes of law. The administrative people under Mamata Banerjee are also culprits as they are not taking strict actions against the rapists. In Iran, a rapist gets beheaded in a public place. Forget Iran; even in our South India, a rapist gets a capital punishment.

Sushovan: - If Dhananjay was hanged long time back, then why these rapists are not getting hanged? Frankly speaking, maybe, CPI (M) did many corruptions in rural sector but in their tenure, at least, the city of Kolkata was really a safe and secure city for women and party lovers.  

Arindam: - CPI (M) had a good organizational structure from top to bottom with strict administrative rules and regulations. That’s why; the Kolkata Policemen were also very active, vigilant and helpful towards civilians. But, under Mamata Banerjee, it is really a very weak administration. TMC supporters sometimes feel proud that they have brought a Paribartan (Change) in Bengal. Surely, the City of Joy has transformed into a “CITY OF GANGRAPE”. What a shame and what a pathetic paribartan (change) under Mamata Banerjee!

IPL -5 OF 2012 !!!

Oh! No! Almost everyone was disappointed after seeing the IPL-5 Inauguration in Chennai. More or less, the inauguration looked like any Bollywood film award ceremony. In earlier versions of the IPL, there were so much FEMA dramas, kissing activities, victory hugs and late night parties’ controversies that all the Cricket lovers always used to ask the question, ‘Is it Indian Premier League or Indian Paisa League?’  No matter, how much you criticize Lalit Modi, the mastermind behind the idea of IPL, but, he really had the marketing skills to attract spectators for the IPL matches. So after the exit of Lalit Modi, somehow, BCCI was under a tremendous pressure to increase the viewers and spectators of IPL-5. 

Subrato Roy, the owner of Sahara Company recruited Saurav Ganguly as the captain of Pune Warriors India and also inaugurated the Subrato Roy Stadium in Pune with some hot Bollywood stars. Inclusion of Ganguly in IPL-5 was an automatic attraction for the people of Bengal. The match of 5^th May 2012 at Eden Gardens became a very popular match for the spectators. Mumbai Indians started the IPL-5 by defeating the defending champion team. Pune Warriors India started getting successive victories. Deccan Chargers started losing matches after matches. Ajinkya Rahane scored a terrific century to come to the limelight. The team under Adam Gilchrist won a match from the jaws of defeat against Kolkata Knight Riders.

After the 1^st leg of IPL-5, all the teams were almost neck and neck to each other except the Deccan Chargers. The open competition of IPL-5 made it more interesting. IPL-5 is all about Cricket, Cricket and Cricket; that’s why; slowly and steadily, the numbers of spectators or viewers of IPL-5 matches started increasing. In the 2^nd leg matches, Pune Warriors India started slipping away from the rat race. Rajasthan Royals under Rahul Dravid lost some close matches, though their low profile players played some excellent cricket. On the other hand, Delhi Daredevils were playing fabulous cricket to remain at the top of their table. Kolkata Knight Riders discovered a Dark Knight in their team.

The cyclonic batting of A B De Villiers was enough to outplay Dale Steyn and the Deccan Chargers. That match gave the Royal Challengers Bangalore a chance to stay in the hunt for the Play-Offs. But, in the later stage, the Deccan Chargers proved themselves to be the Demon Destroyers or Giant Killers.  Rajasthan Royals slipped. Sachin Tendulkar was honored in Eden Gardens for his 100^th 100. Not only have that; on that very same day, Mumbai Indians regained some form against the Kolkata Knight Riders to win it and revive their chance to qualify for the Play-offs. Kings XI Punjab lost an important match. Deccan Chargers won a match in Hyderabad after a long gap and that too against the Royal Challengers to deny them a place in the Play-Offs.

Dhoni and his team watched three important matches on the television set. Luckily, the results of all the three matches went into their favor and Chennai Super Kings qualified for the Play-Offs. In the first qualifier match, the power-packed batting line-up of Delhi Daredevils failed to deliver up to the mark. Kolkata Knight Riders went straight into the final. Morne Morkel turned out to be a good wicket-taker, but Sunil Narine was a good economical bowler with superb strike rate of getting wickets. Many fans of the Bangalore team were missing Chris Gayle, the Orange Cap holder in the Play-Offs. Anyway, in the Bangalore Pitch, the aggression of Harbhajan Singh’s team was not enough to beat the Captain Cool’s team.

In the 2^nd Qualifier match of IPL-5 in Chennai, Virender Sehwag kept out Morne Morkel and decided to field first after winning the toss. Umesh Yadav of Delhi Daredevils did not bowl the first over of that match and as a result, the Murali Vijay of Chennai Super Kings tasted the first blood to score the fastest century of IPL-5 in his home ground. Sehwag did not open the batting for his team and Delhi Daredevils failed to reach the final. In the IPL-5, some impressive players were Steve Smith, Lakshmipathy Balaji, Dwayne Smith, Mahela Jaywardene, Shane Watson and Umesh Yadav who remained as unsung heroes.  Ravinder Jadeja of Chennai Super Kings was just a waste of too much money.  How he got the highest bid amount?

On 27^th May 2012, Mahendra Singh Dhoni won the toss and went for batting first. All the astrologers already predicted that Dhoni will lift the IPL trophy for the third time as he has a very good luck in his favor. Narine Magic did not work on that day. All the bowlers were almost punished by the batsmen of Chennai Super Kings to score 190. Gambhir got bowled. The match was not over yet. Bisla played his natural cricket and Kallis played the sheet anchor role. Manoj and Shakib handled the pressure well at the end. With 2 balls to spare, the Kolkata Knight Riders won the final match. At the end, good and excellent Cricket have entertained everyone and the team which played better cricket than other teams surely won the “IPL-5 OF 2012.”

IPL-5 INAUGURATION !!!

It was 3^rd April 2012. All eyes were on the ‘SET MAX’ TV Channel. It was 7.30 PM. The countdown began. 10, 9, 8….3, 2, 1…oho! The Big B was on the stage with some dance performers. Amitabh Bacchan performed a superb elocution of a good motivational poem composed by Prasoon Joshi. Always take a rebirth to play cricket in India.

The drummers of the ‘1^st Project’ group came in. They were wearing no clothes in their upper portion of their body.  Then it was ‘Ravi Drummer’ with a unique hairstyle. The drums were transparent and the moment he was hitting those drums with the sticks, the drums were producing some electrical sparks. Dynamic Drums! Isn’t it!

Long time ago, two people sang a song, ‘Krishna nee de Hare…come back the allah….come back the Rama…come back and save this world.’ Yeah! Yeah! It was the ‘Colonial Cousins’. They were back again to perform on the stage, but, this time, they sang, ‘Somebody tell me…kahan hain Janabe Ali…Dil Churane wali..’

Don ko pakar na mushkil hee nahi…naamunkin hain…but, Roma was available on that special evening. ‘Saam hain….jaam hain…aaj ki raat…hona hain kya…khona hain kya…’ Well, when the Don comes back like a King, no one loses anything but gains only, though, the Don becomes a ‘Kaminey’ for his junglee billi in the midnight.

If Samir was giggling with Sidhu and Harsha while enjoying the comedy acts of Dr.Shinde, then, on the other side, Miss Vijaya and Mr. Kapoor were also keeping people engaged with the show. Gaurav kept on catching people. Some said, ‘Pune has the best stadium’. Some said, ‘I prefer Deccan chargers, not the local team.’

Chennai Super Kings won this tournament for 2 times in a row. So, they deserve some rounds of applause. The Miss Chopra started to ask some questions, but, the Cool Captain proved through his answers that he is ultimately a very Diplomatic Dhoni. The Tamil song, ‘Nakamuka’ was not enough to make them dance.

Have you heard of Bebo? Aha! Not the social networking site, but, the heroine of ‘Jab We Met’ or rather the famous ‘Chammak Challo’. Be careful about this hot and beautiful lady from the Kapoor family. Anytime, she can teach you the lessons of ‘Pyar ki Pungi’, though she may perform Modern Mujrah to give free offers of her heart.

Ok! Ok! Ok! Now, it was time for the ‘Michael Jackson of South India’ to do some ‘Mukh Kaala Muqabla’ on the stage. He was bang on target to his competitor by asking the question by himself, ‘Main aisa kyon hoon…’ and he rightly proved that he is still the No.1 dancer of South India as his name has both ‘Prabhu’ and ‘Deva’. 

Everyone was staring at a big poster on a four-wheeler. Oho! The most ‘Wanted’ ‘Bodyguard’ entered the stage in a ‘Dabaang’ style. All were ‘Ready’ to watch his performance. But, no one expected him to say that ‘Tere Naam’ se ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’; ‘Mujhse Shaadi Karogi’ because he is the Sallu Miyan, the Bad Bachelor.

Now, the former left-handed spinner and a terrific player of defensive stroke called up the Wall, the Dada, the Gauti, the Gilly, the Viru, the spinning Paaji, the Daniel, the White and the Mahi. The old ‘Dinanath Chauhan’ entered the stage to request all the captains to sign the ‘MCC pledge’, after all; Cricket is a Gentleman’s Game!

Oho!  After eating up almost all the food items in the menu, how can you forget the last item, the ice-cream? Similarly, Katy Perry entered the stage with a mixture of hot and sober dress. No one hated her but fell in love with her after seeing her lovely eyes and a good performance. Welcome to India and its “IPL-5 INAUGURATION”.

CORRUPTIONS IN THE NAME OF COMMISSIONS !!!

"WARRIORS:- ’Your Highness! Our enemies are going beyond their limits. They are testing our tolerance limits. We know that you are a very good and liberal King, but your good and humble nature is not at all scaring our enemies to attack the innocent people of our kingdom. We are waiting for your orders.'

KING:- ' Oho! Is it a sin to be a good and peace-loving King? I am confused now. How to tackle the attacks of our enemies? Our enemies are not in a mood to sign any peace treaty with us. What to do now?'

HERMIT:- ‘Your Highness! Massive destruction paves the way for new, innovative construction. If our enemies don't want to sign any peace treaty, then we hardly have any other option. We are bound to counter-attack our enemies; otherwise, the innocent people of our kingdom will get killed by them.'

KING:- 'But, I hate blood-sheds and violence. Is there no other way to defend ourselves from our enemies?'

WARRIORS:- 'Your Highness! Counter-Attack is the best Defense. If we will not get orders from you to destroy our enemies in the battlefield, then what for we have aspired to become great warriors. Order us!'

KING:- 'Ok! Destroy our enemies into ashes to create a new history of courage, brevity and patriotism.'

WARRIORS:- 'Thank you! Your Highness! We will fight till the last drops of our blood, but, next time, please make sure that we get modern Arms and Ammunitions. All the artilleries and other warfare weapons have become obsolete, which has indirectly given a big advantage to the armed forces of our enemies.'

KING:- 'What! How can they become obsolete? Is it true?'

GENERAL OF ARMED FORCES:- ‘Your Highness! Yes, it is true! Many firms have approached our armed forces and sold all their obsolete vehicles, arms, ammunitions and other warfare related things by giving around 25% commission to the top administrative committee of the Armed Forces. Even I have been offered bribes of 5000 Gold Coins with pure Hallmark for approving their deals. As an honest person, I have not taken that bribe.’

KING:- ‘The character of BHIBHISANA is more harmful than the character of RAVAANA. What should I do now?’

HERMIT:- ’Your Highness! This is a virus of ‘CORRUPTIONS IN THE NAME OF COMMISSIONS’. We will install some anti-virus in our bureaucratic level to wipe it out, though on a temporary basis, because we don’t know where the ‘Mother Program’ of this virus has been kept hidden. This may just be a tip of the ice-berg. You must be ready for other big surprises also. Now, let the warriors focus on war only both internal and external.’

KING:- ’Really! Now, I am feeling that I have been a very liberal King in my tenure and too much sweetness has caused diabetes for our kingdom. I have to become a strict King now.  Personally, I request all the common people of my kingdom to act like Whistleblowers now.’

ROYAL ASTROLOGER:- ’Your Highness! Already several Whistleblowers have given sacrifice for their honesty, loyalty and integrity towards their motherland. I can predict with 100% guarantee that Whistleblowers will stop blowing the whistle in the near future, unless you provide them full-fledged security by all means.’

KING:- ’Ok! I will provide them all the securities. Don’t worry! But, the virus of ‘CORRUPTIONS IN THE NAME OF COMMISSIONS (BRIBE)’ should be wiped out from our kingdom as early as possible; otherwise, I will be dethroned very soon. Oh! God! Please save this kingdom from corruption, if I fail in my mission!’"-Arindam Sain

HIS HUNDREDTH HUNDRED !!!

Chandidas:- Hurrah! At last! Oh! At last! He has achieved it after 33 innings from his 99^th century.

Yasodha:- That long wait for the century of centuries made this moment more special. Maybe, he was under too much pressure to achieve that feat.

Raichand:- When a batsman is on 99, usually, he plays under pressure and waste too many balls to get that single run. The same case was against the little master. But, now, he has become TONDULKAR.

Arindam:- This man, Sachin Tendulkar will remain as a terrific cricket icon for all times, because, he has taught everyone the essence and value of ‘PPP’. PPP stands for Perseverance, Performance and Professionalism. He is a masterpiece in displaying all the three qualities. After the 99^th ton, under the pressure, he neither lost his cool nor did he decide to retire. He waited patiently for the golden moment.

Heena:- But, the century came against a weak team, Bangladesh. Anybody can score a century against them.

Chandidas:- Boss, a century is a century. A performance is a performance, no matter, against which team you do it.  It is very easy to comment like that, unless you know the pain of batting in a pitch, where you have to work hard for scoring every run.

Raichand:- But, Bangladeshi batsman batted with ease. Maybe, the Indian bowlers were bowling like school-level bowlers to them. One Bengali of India, Mr. Pranab Mukherjee declared a very tough budget and on the other hand, the descendants of the Bengalis of the partitioned Bengal Province of 1911, gave too much pain to the Indian cricket team led by Mahendra Singh Dhoni in the Asia Cup of 2012.

Yasodha:- Please don’t take it otherwise, but, one thing, I have seen that in majority of ODI matches, where Sachin Tendulkar has scored centuries or made most of the runs in an innings, India has failed to win those matches.  Even in 1990’s or so, under the captaincy of Mohammad Azharuddin, everyone used to criticize Indian Cricket Team as a one-man team. If Sachin used to score some runs on the board, Indian bowlers used to get some respectable runs on the board to defend, otherwise, I have seen India losing matches against Zimbabwe and Kenya also.

Arindam:- See, Sachin Tendulkar’s dream was to win the World Cup for India. His teammates responded well to his wish, and Indian cricket team lifted the World Cup under the cool captaincy of Dhoni. Saurav Ganguly also could have achieved that feat, but, as you know, the Indian bowlers forget everything about bowling at proper line and length under pressure. Javagal Srinath, Venkatesh Prasad; all flopped against Australia in the World Cup final and Ganguly was really helpless in that regard.  The similar case was with Dhoni in the match against Bangladesh. What can Dhoni do, if his bowlers are constantly bowling badly? There was one time, when Irfan Pathan used to get natural swings in both directions. Wasim Akram was also impressed with this lad, but, that bloody Greg Chappell destroyed the talents of Irfan Pathan by trying to make him an all-rounder.

Heena:- Well! Indian Cricket Team has always been a very inconsistent team. The recent tour in Australia has proved that.  But, the Kohinoor Diamond of the International Cricket is still shining brightly. Oh! Boy! Don’t go by his height! He can beat any demons by swinging his bat. Big bowlers like Glenn McGrath, Waqar Younis, Wasim Akram, Curtly Ambrose, Courtney Walsh, Shaun Pollock, Allan Donald, Shoaib Akhtar and Brett Lee always regarded this little master as the No.1 batsman of the world.

Yasodha:- Hey, Heena! Probably, you missed out Shane Warne! The man who used to see Sachin Tendulkar hitting big sixes in his dreams also; heartiest congratulations to Sachin Tendulkar for achieving “HIS HUNDREDTH HUNDRED.”

CORRUPTION@ROOT LEVEL !!!

Mr.X:'My broker has posted a share redemption A/c Payee Cheque to my residential address by ordinary post 1 month back from Mumbai. How much time it takes to reach Kolkata? Earlier also, in many instances, I have not received the call letters of competitive exams. I went to give those exams with Call Letters downloaded from their respective websites. What's the matter! I am smelling something very fishy out here.' 

POSTMAN CUM CLERK IN POST OFFICE:'Relax! Relax! All our staffs of this Post Office know that a A/c Payee Cheque has come in your name. But, without paying something to us, how can you get that cheque.' 

Mr.X:'What the bloody hell is this? Do you know, if I complain against you, your job will be at stake!' 

HEAD CLERK OF POST OFFICE:'Hey, boss! To whom will you complain? You can prove nothing against us. We are yet to put the date seal of receipt on the envelope sent by your broker. So, we will put the date seal of that date, when you will pay the money to us. We also need to verify whether you are the correct receiver or not. There are so many frauds happening nowadays. Give us some money; then, we will not go for all those address and identity verifications of you via the Policemen.' 

Mr.X:'Actually, our postal system has the flaw. There should be a computer kiosk in every post office, where even an ordinary post will have a computer generated unique number and can be tracked through any Post Office Kiosk connected with the main server.' 

POSTMAN:'Don't give lectures! Indian Postal Service can never become so much modernized to track even an ordinary post. Give 500 bucks & take your cheque of 30,000 bucks. That's it!' 

Mr.X:'Well! Do I have any other options! Ok, take these 500 bucks and give the cheque. Now, I understand, why people always prefer Courier Services instead of Indian Postal Services, which is yet to get modernized and what to say about their staffs! Anna Hazare once rightly said, that in India, corruption starts at the very root level itself.