INDIAN PREMIER LEAGUE - VERSION 3.0

2008 was a landmark for India in terms of globalization of the gentleman’s game. Club Football has its own power in the European countries. That’s why, Cricket lost its value in England, but not in that land, where the British people used to rule for more than 200 years. Indian Premier League started in 2008. Rajasthan Royals, under the captaincy of Shane Warne won the IPL-1. Due to 26/11 attack by Pakistani Terrorists, the Indian Government was not ready to take any risk during the Lok Sabha polls. IPL-2 got shifted to South Africa, which gave some boost to the South African economy. Deccan Chargers of Hyderabad based Deccan Chronicle won the IPL-2 under the captaincy of Adam Gilchrist.

In 2010, IPL came back to its home ground again to rule the hearts of Indian spectators. The bidding process started, where Kieron Pollard and Shane Bond rocked the show. Both of them performed well for their team, but were not so good enough. The Hero of Rajasthan Royals roared only once by scoring 100 runs out of 37 balls, but lost that match against Mumbai. The jersey color of Kolkata Knight Riders got changed from Black to Purple. KKR started off with a great win, but failed to maintain the consistency. Delhi Daredevils started their campaign like real devils, but lost their energy in the middle, and at the end, it was too late for them. Punjab Kings XI played like the coward courtyards. They lost those matches, where they ruled from the beginning and won those matches, where they were never in control. Deccan Chargers were a balanced side, but their middle order flopped in several times. Royal Challengers of Bangalore never looked like a solid team, if you ignore Jacques Kallis and Robin Uthappa. Vinay Kumar was their surprise package. Someone did a hat-trick with the ball for Royal Challengers. Chennai Super Kings was a team, which used to take some big breathe before roaring. But, when they started roaring, it was a very tough task for them, but was not so impossible. Mumbai Indians played like the real professional cricket team. Their key weapon was consistent individual performances. If one failed, the other one performed.

‘Old is Gold’. The IPL-3 has proved that. Maybe, Adam Gilchrist, Muthaia Muralidaran, Shane Warne and Mathew Hayden (The Mongoose Man) have failed, but there are some cricketers, who just played their innings like an under-19 cricketer. The older they get, the younger they become. The sportsman spirit, the zeal to win, the passion to rule the world and the classic charismatic talented skills always help them to emerge as champions. Sachin Tendulkar at the age of 37, snatched the Orange Cap from another great old batsman, whose name is Jacques Kallis. Saurav Ganguly was also chasing them, but ended at 493 runs. As a captain of KKR Team, Saurav Ganguly was leading from the front, and while doing that, his fielding improved to such an extent, that the Royal Bengal Tiger started diving in the air like Jonty Rhodes of South Africa. How can you forget Rahul Dravid? He is still the best batsman of India in terms of sound techniques. He added the old spicy masala in the middle order of the Royal Challengers Team, which brought consistency in their batting line-up.

T-20 Cricket is such a format, where bowlers get no respect at all, unless he maintains his basics. Ashok Dinda bowled better than Shane Bond. Dale Steyn always came back, whenever he got the opportunity. Lasith Malinga never forgot to bowl good length Yorkers at the slog overs. Yusuf Pathan started off well, but lacked confidence due to poor captaincy by Kumara Sangakkara. Murali of KKR was better than Muralitharan of CSK. Doug Bollinger became a Weapon of Dhoni. Amit Mishra, Piyush Chawla were expert in deceiving the batsmen. Pragyan Ojha grabbed the Purple Cap. There were some batsmen in IPL-3, who swung their bat at everything. Kieron Pollard, Harbhajan Singh and Robin Uthappa thrashed at the last 5 overs. Chris Gayle, Saurav Ganguly, Sachin Tendulkar and Mahela Jayawardene pounced on the initial overs. But, you can never forget the batsmen like Paul Collingwood, Kevin Pietersen, T Suman, Angelo Mathews, Saurabh Tiwary, Suresh Raina and Rohit Sharma, who took their time to settle down in the middle overs, and then played the winning knock.

In IPL-3, Mumbai Indians ruled the show from the very beginning and Punjab Kings XI surrendered in front of everyone. The other 6 teams were fighting for the next 3 spots to reach the semi-final. The drama was on and at the end of the day; the net run-rate became a crucial factor. The League got transformed into Quarter-Finals. Temperament and correct strategy became the key factor. Winning the toss became deceptive as the pitch behaved just opposite to the expectation. Jayawardene stunned Saurav Ganguly at Eden Gardens. Gambhir forgot his captaincy. Royal Challengers and Deccan Chargers luckily cruised into the semis. The 14^th Dalai Lama, that is the 75 year old Mr. Tenzin Gyatso, gave his blessing to Mahendra Singh Dhoni at Dharmasala and Dhoni shattered the Priety Zinta’s team in great style.

All was going well, but suddenly, the game of mud-throwing began outside the stadium. BCCI, Lalit Modi and Shashi Tharoor started playing rugby. They could have made a reform, where no franchisee can buy a team for more than 500 crore. No team should have more than 3 stakeholders, where no stakeholder can have more than 51% stake. Players should be given the same salary as per their rating, devoid of any team. There should be no bidding system, but lottery system. Domestic players will play for their own region only. Whoever is left out, will be selected by lottery system in presence of everyone. Luck is ruled by your performance and Chennai Super Kings played like underdogs to win the IPL-3 as Dark Horses, to snatch the cup from the Cricket Wizard’s injured right hand.

INDIANS' PROPERTY LEAGUE (IPL)

Prakash: - Wherever there is honey, bees are bound to get attracted to it. The latest real-life example is the Indian Premier League only. By the way, who is Sunanda Pushkar? Media people don’t know what advantage she has got? Her stakes in the Kochi IPL Team will keep on increasing. She is acting like a parasite on Shashi Tharoor. What kind of relation she has with Mr. Tharoor?

Vimal: - She is his private girlfriend, but publicly, she is just regarded only as his friend. Basically, she is a Kashmiri Girl. She has a daughter. At present, she is a widow. So, naturally, she has to play the role of a parasite. Her brothers have good connections with Dubai businessmen. Sunanda utilized the help of her brothers and now she is famously known as sweet ‘Su’ in the Business World of Dubai. She may also have connection with the ‘D’ company. It cannot be ruled out completely. She targeted Shashi Tharoor because he is an immature politician and a soft target.

Sonia: - Don’t go by the smiling face of Shashi Tharoor. He is a very intelligent person. He was well aware of the fact that he is an Indian Minister. That is why, he told Lalit Modi to keep the name of all the shareholders of Kochi Team as a big secret. Lalit Modi has good business acumen. Very shortly, he smelled something and started monitoring the entire matter. Within 2 weeks, he found out the name of a mystery woman, whose name is Sunanda Pushkar. Maan na maan, main tera mehmaan. She got 19% stake of the Kochi Team and that too of Sweat Equity. So, it is very clear that Shashi Tharoor has utilized this lady very efficiently. Whatever, this lady will earn from it, maybe, around 50% of it will go to Mr. Tharoor’s bank balance and no one will get any clue about that. That’s why; Lalit Modi started shouting in the Twitter.

Arindam: - My sixth sense is saying something else. Maybe, everyone is missing out the real big fish, who is doing the natural acting with his innocence. His name is Satyajit Gaekwad. He just fooled the reporters of Star News in a very fantastic style. A businessman never gives 19% stake of sweat equity to an unknown person, who has been referred by a friend. Who is that special friend? Is it Shashi Tharoor or no one at all? Satyajit Gaekwad knew about Sunanda Pushkar beforehand. Now, he is doing the acting that he does not know her. Sunanda’s profit is also partly a gain for Satyajit Gaekwad. Sunanda tried to save herself by crying out foul that KKR team owners wanted her to raise funds for them. Shahrukh Khan and Juhi Chawla’s brands are more than enough to raise funds for KKR Team. You may be stunned to know that KKR is the only team of IPL-1, who got the highest amount from sponsorships. Income Tax department should have a detailed enquiry of Sunanda Pushkar and Satyajit Gaekwad. The big fishes are escaping. Mr.Tharoor is just a small fish in the pond, who wanted to become a big fish.

Vimal: - The other side of this story is not so good. There was pressure on Lalit Modi to find a franchisee for Gujarat state. But, unfortunately that did not happen.

Arindam: - There is nothing unfortunate in it. Gujarati investors were in favor of investing for the Gujarat team. But later, when Shashi Tharoor guided them for the Kochi Team, they saw that investing in Kochi Team is more profitable because Sunanda has good connections with Dubai and Mallu people regard Dubai as their second home. Now, as an investor, you will always invest on that asset, where the ROI is more. But, Lalit Modi did one biggest blunder. To make all franchisee owners happy, he made many deals by word-of-mouth and never maintained any legal papers. It’s all about business. If you have no legal papers of transactions, no matter who you are, during the financial audit, you will be sued by the Inspector. This law comes under the jurisdiction of Indian Penal Code also. So, there is no escape, if you do a business illegally. No one is yet to get the exact quoted figures for Kieron Pollard and Shane Bond. Therefore, Lalit Modi has failed to bring transparency in the entire system of IPL, which is suicidal for its future. From the point of view of Cricket, the more you increase the number of teams, the more corruption is bound to creep in. Already, the Sahara owner, Mr. Subrato Roy has become a scapegoat by buying the Pune Team with such a huge amount. Business cannot run with emotions.

Prakash: - BCCI was not aware of these things or were they sleeping intentionally? I think that BCCI people knew these things partially, but they kept mum to avoid any controversy. Sharad Pawar never got any information about the activities of his arch-rival Lalit Modi?

Sonia: - Even if they had any information about the corruption in IPL, you cannot legally blame the BCCI people, because they had no representative in IPL. Sharad Pawar and others will just wash off their hands by saying that they knew nothing about IPL scam. I think that the bidding of those Kochi Team should start afresh by cancelling the earlier stakes. Then only you can ensure a healthy scenario. Otherwise, the drama will continue with this lady like Sunanda Pushkar. By the way, what is the exact role of Laila Mahmood? Is she not linked with Vijay Mallya?

Arindam: - BJP and Left Parties have done the right thing to demand a detailed CBI inquiry in this whole IPL scam. Let them do the investigation. Whether IPL is Indians' Pathetic League or Indian Playboy League, that I don’t know, but, I think that it is “INDIANS' PROPERTY LEAGUE (IPL)”.

ADBHUT ALLERGIES

Dr. Vimal: - Tell me, Arindam, what problem are you facing?

Arindam: - Doctor saab. Look at my skin. Everywhere there are rashes and red spots. These areas are itching too much. I never had any skin diseases. Suddenly, how it happened, I don’t know.

Dr. Vimal: - Ok, let me examine it. Hmm…this is the case of allergy only. What have you eaten yesterday? Are you fond of eating fried brinjal or prawn curries?

Arindam: - Yeah, why not? I love to eat those foods. But, I have been taking those foods since my childhood; I never faced these types of problems. Yesterday, we went to Shyamal’s village. He is our college friend. We, the five friends, went to visit his bagan baari. In that bagan baari, there is a pond. Shymal has so many ducks as his pet. We never ate the meat as well as the egg of a duck.

Dr. Vimal: - Accha! So, you people had a nice feast of duck’s meat. Therefore, it proves that your body is allergic to a duck’s meat. Don’t do the mistake of eating duck’s meat in future. Also do not bath in the pond, where the ducks enjoy swimming. If you bath in that pond water, you will have all these things in your skin. Is your body too much prone to allergy?

Arindam: - Sir, is Allergy, a serious disease?

Dr. Vimal: - Allergy is not a disease, just a symptom. It is related to the characteristic of your blood. It follows the rule of heredity or inheritance. If you parents had allergic symptoms, you are bound to have that, but maybe of a different type. Is your body allergic to any other thing? Like in the past, have you experienced anything like this?

Arindam: - Oh! Yes, I remember. I used to play too much football in my school days. One day, one of my friends fouled me very badly. The pain on my knee was so much that I had a fever for that pain only. My mom gave me one Paracetamol tablet and a Septran tablet. What to say doctor? After eating those tablets, I was panting for breathe for half an hour. I was feeling as if I am an Asthma patient. From that day onwards, I always try to avoid Paracetamol tablet, whenever I have high temperature.

Dr. Vimal: - Boss, that side-effect was due to Septran tablet. Paracetamol can never become a cause of allergy.

Arindam: - I also have problem when someone gives me that ‘lal osudh’. My skin gets swollen up.

Dr. Vimal: - Ha ha ha…Lal Osudh? What a name to that chemical solution? Anyway, that medicine is not used nowadays. So, your body is allergic to any medicine which contains sulphur. That is why; I asked you so many questions about any other allergic symptoms. Wait; let me change the name of the medicine in your prescription. I have already written there the name of a medicine, which contains sulphur. Arrey, why are you sneezing continuously? This is summer season also. There is very little chance that you will catch cough and cold so easily.

Arindam: - I don’t know, but this is also a problem for me. If I start sneezing, then I will sneeze for at least 5 times in a row.

Dr. Vimal: - Let me have a look at your nose carefully. Hmm…the bone of your nose is slightly bulging towards left. That is why; your nose is too much prone to cold and cough.

Arindam: - Ya, doctors suggested me to do the operation of my nose, but, my family members were too scared about that, because operation of nose is very risky. So, I have not done any operation for it.

Dr. Vimal: - Nothing is risky here. Nowadays, medical sciences have improved at such a level that no operation is risky. Do you smoke?

Arindam: - No, I don’t smoke. But, occasionally, I smoke while drinking.

Dr. Vimal: - Better don’t smoke cigarette. Your body is allergic to the smoke of cigarettes. At present, I am smoking in front of you and that is why, you are sneezing. Sorry, please don’t mind. I was not aware about your allergy. My elder sister also has this symptom. Whenever I smoke in front of her, she starts sneezing and has a runny nose. Try to avoid those places; where there are too many dust particles, otherwise, you will start sneezing continuously. Always keep a handkerchief handy.

Arindam: - Ok, doctor saab. I will follow all your instructions to tackle these “ADBHUT ALLERGIES.”

USE AIR FORCES TO GUN DOWN THE MAOISTS

Prabhjot: - Around 77 CRPF jawans have been killed in Chhattisgarh. My goodness, even the Pakistani terrorists don’t kill too many jawans. The Maoists, the internal terrorists of India have been able to kill so many jawans. This clearly proves that the CRPF jawans are fighting the war against the Maoists without any proper planning or strategy. How can you expect to win a war without adopting any strategy? Moreover, these CRPF jawans are not properly trained and not at all equipped with modern guns. Maoists have AK-47 and good amount of grenades as well as landmines, which are supplied to them mostly from Nepal-Bihar border, followed by Bengal-Bangladesh border near Malda. Then it enters to Bihar and Jharkhand.

Manisha: - Why are you ignoring the Godavari basin of Andhra Pradesh? It is the main headquarter of Naxals. Just cross the Etunagaram forest, you are in the Naxal zone. It starts from Godavari basin of Andhra Pradesh and stretches towards north to Simlipal jungle areas of Orissa including some eastern areas of Chhattisgarh. They have a long stretch of territory. Also, the Nagaurjuna Sagar forest is under the Maoists, which have connections with the Karnataka and Maharashtra forests. So, in total, the Maoists are mostly active in Bihar, Jharkhand, West Bengal, Chhattisgarh, Orissa, Andhra Pradesh and Maharashtra.

Arindam: - Naxals have become weak in Andhra Pradesh. The credit goes to YSR only. His rural sector development initiative has given courage to many villagers and they came out on their own from the tentacles of Maoists ideology. In 2009 only, the main naxalite leader of Andhra Pradesh surrendered himself to the government. The biggest problem is in West Bengal and Jharkhand. Recently, the intelligence team was successful to track the hide-out of Koteswar Rao. He was in a jungle which is in the Orissa-Jharkhand border. As per the secret sources, in the encounter, two bullets have been pierced in his body. One maybe in the right leg and the other one just half inches below the waist. There is no confirmation about it, but some whispers can be heard in the air within the CRPF camp.

Jatin: - Is Kishanji alive or dead? That is the biggest question. Can we have that confirmation?

Arindam: - No one can provide you that confirmation, because there is a very intelligent politics behind it. Then, let me tell you a fact. In September 2008, Osama Bin Laden died due to an operation by US soldiers in the outskirts of Hindukush range. Dead body has not been found, but from the hidden sources, it got revealed that Laden’s body got completely charred in the bombarding. After that, his son took the charge of that terrorist group. Now, if they would have declared that Osama Bin Laden is dead, then the moral of all the Muslim terrorists will automatically go down, because their leader is dead. So, instead of doing that, they started making fake videos of Laden, by using multimedia applications, to provide motivation to the Muslim terrorists of the whole world. Similarly, if Koteswar Rao dies also, you will find some Mr. X or Mr. Y will pose like Kishanji.

Prabhjot: - I think that he is dead. That is why; all the Maoists threatened the Orissa government to stop Green Hunt operation. Then they secretly shifted themselves to a much safer place. Naxals of all the states may have got united together in Chhattisgarh, where the CRPF jawans are not so active. Now, it could have happened that these Jawans got the information of one group marching towards the hillock of that Chhattisgarh jungle. But, alas, they did not have any information that there were also other 3 groups, who were entering from other ends. That is why; they may have got trapped in the middle.

Arindam: - What is the need of entering the forest by foot, I don’t understand? Chalk out the areas from satellite radars, where Maoists are hiding. Just attack their hiding places with the help of fighter planes in an X- style. That is; one fleet of planes will fly in the direction from North-East to South-West and another fleet from South-East to North-West. Japanese planes used to attack American base camps in this fashion only. The advantage in this case is that the moment you concentrate on one fleet of planes, the other fleet of planes will just destroy you from the other direction diagonally. The Home Minister of India should “USE AIR FORCES TO GUN DOWN THE MAOISTS.”