COMPETITIVE WRITTEN EXAMS ARE LIKE T-20 CRICKET MATCHES

Deven: - Dekho Ramprasad, you are just wasting your time in looking for jobs in the private sector.

Ramprasad: - Aur koi option bhi toh nahi hain.

Deven: - why are you not trying in the public sector?

Arindam:- At present, there is a huge demand in the PSU banks. All the old employees are either getting their retirement in normal time or taking VRS. So, it is creating a huge gap in the middle layer of these PSU Banks. Now, the top management of these banks wants to recruit fresh and young people to compete with the private banks like HDFC, ICICI and HSBC.

Ramprasad: - Wow, that’s really great. But, their recruitment procedure is very tough. It is very difficult to pass those written exam.

Ratna: - Bhaiya, dekho kaun aaya hain.

Deven: - Arrey, Mamaji, aayiye aayiye, abhi abhi aap ka hee jikar ho raha tha….bahut lambi umar hain aap ki, aayiye, baithiye.

Mamaji: - arrey, tum log itna udaas kyon dikh rahe ho ? Kya hua Ramprasad? Why are you looking so tensed?

Arindam: - Mamaji, Ramprasad is much tensed about his career. In this global recession, not a single private company is in a position to recruit people. Ramprasad is also tensed about the fact that it is hard to crack the competitive written exams.

Ratna: - aap log baath kijiye…main chaaye baana ke laati hoon.

Mamaji: - Accha toh yeh baath hain. Arrey, my friend Bhavani Shankar is expert in cracking competitive exams. In our times, he cracked almost all the competitive written exams. Ek kaam karo, tum log uske paas chale jaao…He will give you some tips. But, please take care of your moustache. Deven, please stick a dummy moustache before going there, because he never gives appointment to any person, who don’t have moustache.

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Bhavani Shankar: - Yes, my name is Bhavani Shankar only. I have heard everything about you from your mamaji. Actually, I have forgotten all the tips to crack the written exams. You may be aware of the fact that the examination format has totally changed these days. I gave those exams around 30 years back.

Arindam: - Oh! It is so sad that you cannot help us also with some tips. Becharey, Ramprasad ka kya hogaa?

Bhavani Shankar: - Don’t get so disheartened. Recently, my daughter has got a job in a reputed PSU Bank. She has been able to crack almost all the written competitive exams. I have told her about you people. She will guide you people. Urmila, please come downstairs. Ramprasad and his friends are waiting to hear your tips.

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Urmila: - See, in any competitive written exam, you should not give more than 0.20 seconds in a question. Practice is the key. Try to do those questions first, which are getting solved by you within 0.10 seconds each. Within the first 30 minutes, try to finish the easiest questions first, and then do the hard ones in the next one hour. In the remaining time, re-look at those questions, which are very difficult and time-consuming, e.g. the non-verbal ones.

Arindam: - Ha ha ha…Urmi ji, you are giving us the tips, as if you are telling us to play the T-20 Cricket. In T-20 cricket also, in the first 6 overs, the batsmen just swing their bats at the loose balls to score runs rapidly. Then in the next 10 overs, they settle down a little bit to build partnerships and in the last 5 overs, they try to hit 4’s and 6’s in yorkers and bouncers also.

Urmila: - You can laugh at it. But, if you can follow this strategy, you will surely get success in a competitive written exam. I hope that Ramprasad will surely keep my request.

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Ramprasad: - Hello Urmi, there is a good news. I have cracked the written exam of a PSU Bank. Thanks to you Urmi for your tips. I want to meet you tomorrow at 5 PM at the CCD near your house. Surely, the “COMPETITIVE WRITTEN EXAMS ARE LIKE T-20 CRICKET MATCHES.”

BENGALI SINGERS IN BOLLYWOOD

Sajal: - There was one time, when Kumar Shanu, Abhijeet and Babul Supriyo used to come and perform in our area during Durga Puja festival. They have become good singers of Bollywood now. Also, nowadays, people don’t have the mentality to organize all these live concerts during Durga Puja or Kali Puja festivals. The club members have become all drunkards. They will just drink whisky with chicken tandoori and will then go to sleep inside the club house only. But, in those days, boss, in all the 5 days of Durga Puja, our cultural show used to rock in entire Kolkata.

Laltu: - Give some consideration to the global market recession, boss. Where is the money? Gone are those days, when a singer used to charge less money for performing on the stage during Durga Puja. Nowadays, even a bad singer will charge more money by saying that he went to give the audition in the ‘Indian Idol’ program in front of Anu Malik.

Arindam: - Ha ha ha…see the fun. But, I think that Bengali singers always rocked in Bollywood. Look at the past. Hemanta Mukhopadhay, then Kishore Kumar and after that it was Manna Dey.

Kunal: - Manna Dey is Manna Dey. Still, he just rocks. Er oporey kono katha hobey na boss. In our college days, we used to drink 4 pegs of whisky before entering the Concert, where Manna Dey used to perform live. Aaahaa…what a voice, what a romantic beauty of those songs! That song is still the best. The song is ‘Coffee house er sei adda taah aar aaj nei’. Surely, the Coffee House of College Street has lost its past glory.

Laltu: - Dhaath…our real Gurudev is Kishore daa. I am not saying that Hemanta and Manna is bad, but, Kishore Kumar is a legend in itself. He was a versatile person. All the songs of Kishore Kumar still rocks. But, yes, I cannot forget one song of Manna Dey, which is ‘Zindagi kaisi hain pehli haaye…kabhi yeh haasaye, kabhi yeh rulaye’. After those legends, I think that Bengali singers have lost their brand.

Arindam: - le halua…lost their brand? Ya, to some extent, I agree that no other singer can match with Hemanta, Manna and Kishore, but you cannot totally ignore the voices of Bengali singers of Tripura also. The voice of Sachin Dev Burman in the title track of ‘Aaradhana’ film still touches your heart. The song of ‘Mehbooba’ in the film ‘Sholay’ would have been a major flop song, if R.D. Burman would have not sang that.

Sajal: - Oi, byaash oi parjyonto…After R.D. and S.D, there is no good Bengali singers at all.

Mir: - Ei jeh dada, amader Bappi daa key bhooley geley kintu ami khelbo naa boss. Jab jab humara Bappi daa detaa hain Gyaan…Mumbai ke log, ho jaatey hain Agyaan. Bappi Lahiri sang the song ‘I am a Disco Dancer’ and Mithun Chakraborty danced like a real disco dancer with that tune. It was Bappi only, who said, ‘Mumbai se aaya mera dost, dost ko salaam karo, raat bhar khayo peeyo, din ko aaram karo’. Who can dare to take away those credits from Bappi da?

Kunal: - Orrey, babah, after our Bappi Daa, it was our Kumar Shanu, who ruled the Bollywood at one stage. The songs of ‘Aashiqui’ and ‘Phool Aur Kaante’ were a super hit at that time. Kumar Shanu was expert in singing those slow romantic songs. Even the work of Pancham daa with Kumar Shanu in ‘1942-A Love Story’ was superb. After that, Kumar Shanu had a throat operation, which ruined his good voice to some extent. Where he ended, Abhijeet just started from there only. Abhijeet’s voice was well suited for almost every actor of Bollywood. Accha, at present, I have heard that Pritam is one of the best music directors of Bollywood and he has also given chance to Rupam Islam and James to sing some good songs.

Laltu: - Arrey, tora toh ekhonkaar great bangaali singer kei bhooley gali. He is the ‘Shaan’ of Bengal. He has a versatile classical voice. He can adjust the tone of his voice very quickly according to the situation of the song. Babul Supriyo somehow lost in the woods, after his good performance in ‘Kaho na Pyar Hain’. What to say about the Nightingale of Bengal? Sreya Ghosal is ruling the Music Industry now with her sweet voice.

Arindam: - Aaah…Lata Mangeshkar is the Nightingale of India and Sreya Ghosal is the Cuckoo of India. In spring time, just listen to the song of Shreya Ghosal. There is no doubt about the fact that the “BENGALI SINGERS IN BOLLYWOOD” still rocks.

WOMEN'S RESERVATION BILL DOES NOT GUARANTEE WOMEN'S EMPOWERMENT

Vikash: - 33% reservation for women. My goodness, is Sonia Gandhi, a crazy person?

Dilkush: - Why? What is wrong in it? Sonia Gandhi is a woman and so it is evident that she will force all her Congress MPs to vote for the bill.

Savita: - Why Mulayam and Laloo so angry about this bill? Why Mamata is creating the last moment drama? This bill will be a historic bill and it will give lots of power to women of India.

Arindam: - Oh! Is it so? Ok, suppose that the women’s bill is passed. Now, how it is going to give power to you. You are working in a private bank at present. If I tell you to join politics, will you join it?

Savita: - No, no, I totally hate politics.

Pabitra: - In India, 7 out of 10 women hate politics, then what is the essence of having 33% reservation for women in Parliament?

Vikash: - Moreover, if men and women are equal in all respects in India, then why do you really need a separate reservation for women?

Mayuri: - You also know the brutal truth, Vikash! Then, why are you pulling our legs. In India, a woman is still kept at the backburner.

Dilkush: - We also know that. What we are trying to say is that if you are really concerned about the women empowerment, then this 33% reservation in Parliament has no value at all. This reservation will only help some Bollywood actresses, who want to enter politics, once their Bollywood career comes to an end. It will also help those women, who belong to a family, which have a political background. Who is this Sonia Gandhi? If she would not have been the wife of Rajiv Gandhi, she would have never entered politics. Take the example of Rabri Devi also. So, this reservation will act as a catalyst for the bahu-beti politics. An ordinary woman will remain at the same place only. Therefore, there is no women empowerment.

Mayuri: - If they can provide quota system for Dalit and Muslim women, then it will bring woman empowerment.

Arindam: - Can you give me a list of around 100 eminent women MPs from India? I bet that you will not get more than 67 eminent women MPs throughout India. Now, after passing the reservation bill for 33% women, if you cannot fill up those seats in the Parliament, then those seats will go wasted. Then, what is the point in it. And coming to our quota within quota system; show me, how many Muslim and Dalit women are there in politics. Hardly, I can see them in J&K and UP only. It is not always true that a woman is a good politician. The real example is Mayawati, who is making India a poor country.

Savita: - Mamata is a good woman politician; then why is she not happy? Is she not in favor of woman empowerment?

Vikash: - Ei, Savita, first go home and have a look at the Oxford Dictionary to find out the real meaning of ‘Empowerment’. What do you mean by empowerment? The problem lies there only. 90% of Indian women don’t understand the meaning of it. That is why; some politicians just fool them by providing them quotas and reservations. When you are treated as the scapegoats of vote-bank politics, then it is evident that the question of empowerment is thrown away in the dustbin only. And this Mamata Banerjee is shouting because she quickly understood the politics of Sonia Gandhi. Sonia wants to grab votes in Bihar election and her dream is to make Rahul Gandhi the next Prime minister of India, once Manmohan Singh resigns due to his ill-health.

Arindam: - Ha ha ha…what a funny scenario it will be. I think that the ordinary women of India should not be so over-excited about this 33% reservation for women in the Parliament, because whether you accept it or reject it, but the brutal truth is that the “WOMEN’S RESERVATION BILL DOES NOT GUARANTEE WOMEN EMPOWERMENT.”

SEX EDUCATION IS A NECESSITY

Niranjan: - You give me these medicines. I cannot read the handwriting of this Doctor.

Medical Shop Owner: - Don’t worry, Sir. We are expert in understanding Dr. Kapoor’s handwriting. We always get special training to understand a doctor’s handwriting, because Indian doctors always have a bad handwriting and when they write the name of a medicine, they don’t even care whether any person will be able to read the name of that medicine or not. Anyway, just wait for 5 minutes. I will give you all the medicines.

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Medical Shop Owner: - Arrey, Arindam bhaya, bolo kya chaiye?

Arindam: - Arrey, Niranjan tu? What are you buying, boss? You have bought so many medicines? Tabiat toh thik hain naa? Bukhar hua hain kya?

Niranjan: - Nahi nahi aisa koi baath nahi hain. Mere PG mein, mera room partner koh jaundice hua hain. These medicines are for him only. Accha chalta hoon, see you later, bye.

Arindam: - Haan haan thik hain, agley shanivaar ko baithenge daaru leke Dragon’s Den mein. Bye.

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Medical Shop Owner: - Boss, tumhara woh brand ka stock khatam ho gaya. Agley haftey aayega. Manforce deh doon? Thoda expensive hain, but it has many flavours. Kaun sa flavor doon.

Arindam: - deh doh strawberry wala. Accha, yeh Niranjan, matlab, abhi abhi joh ladka dabaai lene aaya tha, woh kis bimaari ka dabaai le ke gaya?

Medical Shop Owner: - That guy never bought caps from our medical shop. Maybe, that is why, Dr. Kapoor has given him all the medicines to cure the STD in his body.

Arindam: - Is STD curable?

Medical Shop Owner: - It takes time, but it is curable. But, AIDS can only be controlled to some extent, but cannot be cured. Maybe, your friend is lucky to get detected at an early stage. Sometimes, we such Medical Shop Owners become stunned to see these kinds of patients. They are highly educated, they are doing high-profile jobs in reputed companies, but, still they don’t use protections.

Arindam: - The problem lies elsewhere. We have hi-fi degrees and jobs, but we don’t have basic education about sex. This guy Niranjan hails from a village. He has a wrong perception that STD takes place, only when you are having unsafe sex with a call girl or a sex worker. STD can happen even if you are indulging in unsafe sex with several girlfriends or women colleague of your office.

Medical Shop Owner: - I think that the Government of India should make Sex Education mandatory at school level. At least, it will prevent AIDS.

Arindam: - Not only it will prevent AIDS, but it will also decrease the cases of rape, molestation of minor girls in our society. Minor girls will become more careful in those areas. In 90% cases, a minor girl don’t even recognize that she is getting molested because at that young age, she has no idea what sex is and how to prevent herself from those culprits. Look at the foreign countries. In those countries, the education of sex is so advanced that a man just runs away from a hot woman, because he fears that he will get molested, he he he…In those countries, the incidents of rape and molestation are much less than that in India.

Medical Shop Owner: - You are right, Arindam. But, due to some conservative Hindu and Muslim people, the Indian Government has not been able to make Sex Education mandatory in all schools. It is more shameful for a person to buy the medicines of AIDS or STD rather buying the flavored and double-coated dotted caps. In India, “SEX EDUCATION IS A NECESSITY.”