BENGALI FOOTBALL HAS LOST ITS PAST GLORY

Arindam: - ki re, Ghotna…your East Bengal football team has lost 13 matches in a row. Chee chee chee….

Ghotna: - emon bolchish jano, your Mohan Bagan Team is playing world-class football. Toder Sabuj totah toh ek gyaada penalty miss kore, abaar baro baro katha.

Arindam: - Ei, at least, we have defeated East Bengal by 5 goals….seta toh koi bolchish naa…saala bangaal…

Ghotna: - toraa ki re…saala Ghoti…Chingri poka khaash…At least Hilsha is much tastier than that Prawn insect.

Arindam: - Have you ever eaten Chingri Malai Curry…konodin tui khaashni, taai lecture dicchish…First go and eat Chingri Malai Curry, then come and tell us about your Hilsa curry.

Rafiq: - Aaah…Bengali people always fight among themselves with the topic of Ghoti and Bangaal or Mohan Bagan and East Bengal. No one talks about the Md. Sporting Club. Arrey, we are also a reputed football club of Bengal. We are Mohammedans, which is why, no one care for us.

Ghotna: - Arrey, nothing like that. Actually, we think that there was no need for the Muslims to create a different football club in Bengal. It is like a separate quota system for Muslims in the football game of Bengal.

Rafiq: - Oh! Accha…Then, what will you say about the Chirag United Team. It is also a football club of Bengal.

Patka: - kono kotha hobey na bhai…Our Chirag United is now playing like Manchester United. It is the only Bengali football club which is performing well in all the tournaments.

Arindam: - haan, that I appreciate. Full credit goes to the son of Mohan Bagan that is Subrato Bhattacharjee…Under him only; Chirag got too many successes.

Ghotna: - but, he is a very moody and egoistic person. He does not listen to anyone’s suggestion. Recently, he had some collisions with Koustuv Roy. Koustuv just told him to keep mum in front of media. Now, that made Subrato angry. This is not done. But, he is very angry on Mohan Bagan’s top management personnel.

Arindam: - toder East Bengal er karmo kartara ki dhoyya tulsi paata…they are also doing business only.

Rafiq: - There was one time, when Bengali footballers used to rule in India. Gostho Pal, Chuni Goswami, PK Banerjee, Bikash Panji, Satyajit Chatterjee, Krishanu, Krishnendu and other Bengali footballers who just used to rock in any football match. Now, hardly there are any. How can there be? All the clubs are concentrating on those Nigerian and Brazilian footballers. All those third-class players of Brazil and Nigeria, who never get a chance to play in their own country football, just come here in Kolkata to earn money. Only Odafe is the most talented among all foreign players till now.

Patka: - oi janyo toh Kolkata football club gulo etoh jhaarh khacchey…look at the football teams of Goa. In those teams, all the Goanese footballers are stealing the show. Look at the teams like JCT and Mahindra. There, all the local players are playing good football. Sunil Chetry is a far better performer than Bhaichung Bhutia. Bhutia is just getting too much hype, that’s all. Our Chirag United should plan to buy Sunil Chetry in the next season.

Arindam: - All the football clubs are just doing business and playing with the Bengali sentiments. Today, we have also lost interest in football. Yes, sometimes, we feel proud, when Bengali goalkeepers like Arindam, Sangram and Abhra save goals like Oliver Kahn of Germany to win any tournament. But, there is not a single good Bengali striker, midfielder and defender in any of our Bengali football clubs. It is so sad that the “BENGAL FOOTBALL HAS LOST ITS PAST GLORY.”

BANGLAAR BHOOMI BAND

Pratik: - kaande sudhu mon, kano kaande re…jakhon sonali rupoli alo, nadir bookey basa bandhey re…

Jennifer: - wow…I do not understand the Bengali lyrics of this song, but the tune is just cool. I like it. Somebody has rightly said that music has no barrier.

Pratik: - Ya, that’s true. It is of a famous Bengali music band, Bhoomi.

Jennifer: - Band song. Hmm…that’s cool. I always have the perception that Bengali people always sing those Rabindrasangeet. But, for the first time I am hearing that Bengal also has some good rock bands.

Arindam: - Not all are rock bands. There are some bands, which believe in singing soft songs with a guitar. The concept of Jeevan Mukhi songs started. From Suman Chattopadhay’s ‘Prathamoto, ami tomake chai, dwityoto, ami tomake chai’, followed by Anjan Dutta’s ‘Chakri taa ami peye gachi bela suncho’ to Nachiketa’s ‘Sey pratham prem amaar Nilanjana’ just transformed the taste of Bengali song. It came as a fresh air for the Bengali music lovers. Then all the Bengali bands like Bhoomi, Chandrabindu, Parash Pathar, Mahiner Ghoraguli, Crosswindz, Fossilz, Miles and others came into the forefront.

Jennifer: - That really sounds great.

Subimal: - Dhurrh, ei gulo ki ekta gaan holo…there was one time in Bengal, where the songs of rhyme that is the ‘Kavi-Gaan’ was famous. If you watch the film ‘Anthony Firingi’, then you will have an idea about that. Those songs were the real songs. Then there was the Baithaki Gaan of Babu Culture. Our Ramkumar Chattopadhay with his classic touchy voice under the jhaarbaati is just superb. If you watch the film Satyajit Ray’s ‘Jalsaghar’ film, then you can feel about the Babu culture of Kolkata. The expression of Chobi Biswas in that film was just unforgettable. What to say about Rabindrasangeet, it is a different class altogether. It is unparallel and unmatched.

Pratik: - Arrey, you just listen to the song of the Chandrabindu band. There you will find the modern ‘Kavi-Gaan’.

Arindam: - I think that the Bhoomi Band is more of a folk song band than a rock band and that is what created a separate brand of this band. If you do a survey, you will find that the Bhoomi band is more popular among the people rather than Chandrabindu. Other rock bands have been able to rule in urban sector only, but Bhoomi band has been able to penetrate in the rural sector also. All of their songs, you will see, are having a folk song touch. Like the songs of ‘Sadher lau, banaibo torey bairagi’, ‘orey pochakaka’, ‘doyel doley patar faakey’, premer gaadi charlo koye jonaaye…yeh gaadi signal maaney naa’, ‘yeh kapal hoy na karo por’ are very popular.

Subimal: - The songs of ‘Barandaye Roddur’ and ‘Kam Sarse’ of Bhoomi band are still the best. Chandrabindu also have some good songs like ‘Mon re’, Mouna Mukharata’. The Guitarists of Fossilz are always at their best.

Pratik: - Bhoomi Band is also popular in USA, boss. During Durga puja festival, there are many Bengali Cultural Committees which request Bhoomi Band to go and perform there. After all, Bengalis living in USA hardly get any chance to hear Bengali folk songs and that too in any live concert.

Jennifer: - Bangla gaan khub bhalo…ami besh bhalobaasshi.

Arindam: - Ei moreche, hey Jennifer, who taught you Bengali?

Jennifer: - Oh! Come on, Bengali is one of the easiest languages of the world. It is very easy to learn Bengali. That is why, Bengali is the 2^nd largest speaking language of the world, after English language. Arindam, can you please give me a .MP3 CD, where I will have the songs of all Bengali bands, especially of “BANGLAAR BHOOMI BAND.”

WHEN SHOAIB MET SANIA

Fatima: - Why Sania Mirza is so much interested in a Pakistani Muslim cricketer, is really a wonder?

Manirul: - That too Shoaib Malik. What a bad choice? He has been banned by the Pakistani Cricket Board. Even the PCB doesn’t have faith in him. But, Sania Mirza blindly believes him.

Zeenat: - Actually, try to understand the pressure on Sania also. After the break-up of her engagement with her school friend, she was somewhat depressed. You know the Indian society. Whenever, something happens, people have a tendency to whisper and comment at your back. Now, everyone cannot tolerate those things. Therefore, Sania was desperately looking for a life partner. When Shoaib Malik expressed his desire to marry her, she accepted it blindly. After all, beggars are not choosers.

Rubaina: - Shoaib Malik is already a married guy. He has married another Hyderabadi girl Ayesha Siddiqui long time back. Now, he is saying that the signature on that nikahnaama is a forged one. How funny?

Imtiaz: - Sania Mirza is a star tennis player of India. Is she not getting any Indian Muslim gentleman to marry? There are many Indian Muslims, who are eager to marry her.

Arindam: - ha ha ha…you are saying as if that if you get an offer, you will marry her.

Imtiaz: - No, no, I am not talking about myself. I just own a poultry meat shop. My case is different. But, still, there are many good Muslim cricketers in India. Yusuf Pathan and Irfan Pathan are still unmarried.

Fatima: - They are already engaged and they are interested in marrying Hindu girls. It is not always mandatory that as a Muslim person, you have to always marry a Muslim person. A Muslim person can also get married to a Hindu person. Arindam is passing comments to Imtiaz. Who knows, maybe, he is also in the same queue.

Arindam: - Dhaath…now, Fatima is pulling my legs. I am a conservative Hindu. I have no desire to marry any Muslim girl. Sania Mirza is a good sports-woman of India like P T Usha, Karnam Malleswari, Mary Kom and Saina Nehwal. The problem with Sania is that she doesn’t maintain her physique, by going to gym regularly. She is too fat in comparison to other foreign tennis players. In every tennis match, I find Sania’s movement from one end to the other end, very slow in comparison to others. You need to have a slim and a fit figure to react quickly to those speedy serves. But, her face is quite similar to our Saurav Ganguly, as if she is the younger sister of Dada, he he he…

Manirul: - after her marriage with Shoaib Malik, she will play tennis for Pakistan only. That is so sad.

Zeenat: - No, no, nothing like that. Sania will play for India only. Both of them will settle in Dubai.

Rubaina: - uski nikaah hogi tab naa jaakey Dubai mein settle karegi. Shoaib Malik is a cheater and Ayesha’s family members have already lodged a complaint against him. Hyderabad Policemen are interrogating him. Shoaib cannot leave India, till the investigation is over.

Arindam: - There are many loopholes in Muslim marriage law, boss. Behind the purdah, there sits a bride. The man will ask, ’tumko kabool hain’. The bride will answer, ‘haan kabool hain’. Baash, then the marriage gets completed. At least in our Hindu marriage, there is a proper mantra and 7 holy rounds. What to say about divorce law in Muslim world. The husband will shout ‘talaaq, taalaq, talaaq’…baash, the bride gets a divorce.

Imtiaz: - Arrey, yaar, you are talking about medieval ages. Nowadays, all marriages are performed through legal proceedings. Even for giving divorce also, you have to abide by the marriage acts. But, one fishy question goes unanswered that why Ayesha was living in Hyderabad and Shoaib Malik in Pakistan, after their marriage? Is Ayesha, a victim of dowry harassment and maybe that is why; she came back to Hyderabad out of fear factor? What is the guarantee that Sania Mirza will not be harassed after her marriage with Shoaib? Anyway, that is her personal life. She is the best person to decide about her life. As a Hyderabadi, I can only wish her a good married life.

Arindam: - Ha ha ha…are we going to see a new real-life drama with the title “WHEN SHOAIB MET SANIA”.

KOLKATA MUNICIPAL CORPORATION (KMC)

Dibakar: - Corporation vote is coming, that is why, KMDA is just digging the streets wherever it is possible to give an impression to the public that CPI (M) party is doing so many works for the city. Their slogan is ‘Kaatchi Maati Dekhbi Aaye’(KMDA).

Arindam: - No, no, I think that the Central Government has announced to complete all the sanitation problems of West Bengal within 2010. That is why; KMC is doing these things very faster.

Sinjini: - The people of Municipal Corporation has done almost nothing for the city. In many parts of the city, the roads have so many potholes, that anytime, there can be a severe accident.

Gautam: - Sudhu ki raasta…Look at the drainage system…If a frog urinates in Kolkata, the streets get waterlogged. Such is the condition here.

Arindam: - It is bound to happen. All the outlet pipes are there from the British rule.

Dibakar: - There is no system at all. KMC is yet to get modernized. There are hardly any computers in their office. Employees don’t even know how to operate a computer. Look at the civic bodies of other cities. They are at least 5 years advance in terms of modernization.

Sinjini: - in Bengaluru, I think that BJP has won the corporation vote. I don’t have the exact information, but someone was saying about it, in our office.

Arindam: - Drainage system of Bengaluru is also not good. It is as bad as Kolkata only. But, one thing I am sure that Kolkata has the most number of illegal constructions after Delhi.

Dibakar: - Se toh sabai jaaney…The Mayor is lame and his corporation has also gone lame. Take the example of Stephen Court only. It’s an illegal construction. The CM of Bengal has also accepted that fact. The Mayor replied to the CM that those illegal parts of Stephen Court were made legal by charging some money. Now, what does that indirectly proves? It proves that the KMC sanctions illegal constructions by taking bribes from the promoters of Kolkata. At least Buddhadev Bhattacharjee and the Police Commissioner of West Bengal are far more truthful than the lame Mayor, Bikash Ranjan.

Gautam: - Arrey, baba, the fire of Stephen Court took place due to short-circuit of electric wires. What can the Mayor do in that?

Arindam: - Yeh abar ki katha holo? When you are inspecting a building as a KMC Engineer, you also have to consider the inspection of electric wirings. Now, you cannot say that CESC is responsible for it. Why will you sanction the planning of a building, where the electric wires will hang here and there like the trunks of an oak tree? All the fires in Kolkata have taken place due to short-circuit? Is it a matter of joke or what? Hardly, I have seen the CESC people to suggest people to take safety measures. In Kolkata, no one uses the circuit breakers in their houses. Only, recently, in the book fair, the KMC ordered every stall owners to use Havell’s Euro breaker to avoid fire due to short-circuit.

Sinjini: - Can we pay the corporation taxes online instead of standing in long queue? Income taxes have become computerized and it is so easier to pay now. Why can’t the Corporation Taxes?

Arindam: - Any Municipal Corporation is under the jurisdiction of the civic body of a city. Central Government should form a special committee to monitor or track the performances of all the Civic bodies in India. Otherwise, one day will come, when all the Metro Cities will get destroyed like the cities of Harappa civilization, due to natural disaster. The soil of Kolkata is already dipping and the sea level of Bay of Bengal is increasing. But, the irony is that the bangaali babus of “KOLKATA MUNICIPAL CORPORATION” are still sleeping like Kumbhakarna.