DON'T ACCEPT ANY OLD LPG CYLINDER !!!

Undercover Investigator:-What could have been the reason behind this massive fire outbreak?

Forensic Expert:- Everyone was saying that the entire colony beside this Ultadanga station was a very clumsy area to live. All the electric wires were hooked and there were no proper wiring done neither by the CESC nor KMDA/KMC.

Undercover Investigator:-  So, you want to say that the fire broke out due to the short circuit of electric wires.

Forensic Expert:- There was a short –circuit, but, that was not so much to cause the deadly fire. Before the short-circuit incident, at least 3 big gas cylinders have burst in some kitchens. The fire broke out from the LPG cylinders burst and then as all the houses had the typical black colored plastic (Tirpol), it made the situation worse. If fire catches a plastic, it is very difficult to control that fire.

Undercover Investigator:- Everywhere in India, nowadays, the LPG cylinders are bursting now and then. Last week only, in Powai area of Mumbai, there was a similar case. The couples were lucky that they were not in their apartment, when the gas cylinder started bursting.  Are the newly married Indian housewives/home-makers not learning how to operate a gas cylinder?

Forensic Expert:- The problem is not with the housewives or home-makers. The problem lies with the LPG cylinder suppliers. They will just supply the gas cylinders at your doorstep, but what is the guarantee that those gas cylinders are safe?

Undercover Investigator:- Hmm…that’s a problem!

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Arindam:- Why you people are not sending some people in our house. I have complained to you people for several times that the LPG oven and the gas pipe are leaking gases, when the knobs are turned off also.

Personnel of Bharat Gas Office:- Look! We don’t send any person to inspect our customers’ LPG cylinders or ovens.

Arindam:- So, if there is a cylinder burst in the kitchen of your customers, you people have no responsibility in that. You people are supplying all those old LPG cylinders which are very risky. Those cylinders can burst anytime. That is ok?

Personnel of Bharat Gas Office:-  Hey boss, I don’t want to argue with these silly things. As far as I know, in a gas cylinder burst, no one dies. Maybe, there will be some minor injuries. Hey, Sushanta, give him a ‘Suraksha’ pipe which costs 170 bucks.

Arindam:- You are eager to sell your ‘Suraksha’ pipe of 170 bucks but still you will not send a personnel from your office to inspect the gas oven and pipe in our kitchen. Ok, one day, when you will be in a similar kind of trouble, then only you will realize your faults.

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Sanjay:- My mother and wife have died inside the kitchen due to the burst of the gas cylinder. Actually, the gas cylinder was too old. The cylinders were of January 2009 and it is August 2010 now.

Police Inspector:-  Who supplies these LPG cylinders? Oh! The company name is ‘Bharat Gas’. Don’t they send anyone to inspect their customers’ LPG connections after every month?

Sanjay:- I am; myself, a personnel of ‘Bharat Gas’ office! I was under the impression that the old LPG cylinders are not at all risky. Last week only, I argued with a customer about this topic.  Had I taken that matter seriously, today my mother and wife would have been alive.

Police Inspector:- Really, the Supreme Court should make a strict law for you such personnel of any LPG company. The law should be such that if any of your customers dies or gets injured due to the bursting of that gas cylinder which has been delivered from your office, then you will be put behind the bars for 6 months and your company has to give a compensation of 1 lakh rupees to the victim.  From our Indian Police Department, we will also request the Central Government to spread the awareness among the LPG customers in India that, “DON’T ACCEPT ANY OLD LPG CYLINDER” from the LPG cylinder delivery man. Always check the date and year of the LPG cylinder before accepting it. If the date of the cylinder is more than 6 months old than the date of delivery, then just refuse it and order for a new cylinder. If they don’t supply the new cylinder within a week, just lodge an FIR.

ALL BANK EMPLOYEES SHOULD HAVE A COMPUTERIZED BAR-CODED ID CARD !!!

Gautam:- In 2010 itself, till date, 246 cases of bank loots have taken place in India, which is around 1.79% higher than 2009. In this year, the numbers of bank loots have increased in the remote rural areas. Moreover, the banks in the Maoist infested areas have hardly any safety vaults in their branches due to the fear of getting looted. PSU banks are the main target in India. Hardly, you will hear that a private bank has been looted. I really don’t know the secret behind it. Are PSU banks having more money in their safety vaults than the private banks?

Sangeeta:- The number of internet banking customers are more in the cases of private banks. Therefore, to perform any business transaction, those customers only need either a laptop or a mobile handset with an internet connection. Those customers don’t need to visit the branches of the bank physically and hence it becomes comparatively easier for the private bank administrators to handle some handful of customers visiting their branches. Many customers in India are not in favor of keeping their valuables in the safety vaults of a private bank. Even, many customers don’t even open their savings account in any private bank. That’s why; these private banks target the people who get newly recruited to any MNC. The moment you get recruited to any private company, the company on your behalf opens up a salary account for you as per the partnership norms with some private banks like ICICI Bank. The numbers of customers are more in any PSU Bank and its major chunk comprises of people who are in the age bracket of 35 to 75 years. Private Banks have more customers who are in the age bracket of 20 to 30 years. When a customer thinks about securing his savings, he starts shifting his money to a PSU Bank account. That’s why; many private banks are coming out with innovative plans where your savings account can also partly act either as a mutual fund account or a Provident Fund account. That is, if you have 10,000 bucks in your savings account, then at maximum, you can invest 50% of that Rs.10,000/- in mutual fund or in provident fund. Don’t worry, the bank will manage your portfolio in such a manner that you always gain profit or reach break-even point even in the time of recession.

Arindam:- Ha ha ha…Hey, Sangeeta, I know that you are working in a private bank as a fund manager. There is no need to do the marketing of your bank accounts in front of us. Boss, Gautam, I think that the security system of any Bank in India is just pathetic. I have hardly seen any hidden cameras installed in a bank, especially in the PSU banks of rural areas. Moreover, the security guards of the bank has no mobile phone, walky-talky or arms. In any MNC, the administration hires security guards from the reputed security agencies or companies. But, in case of banks, I can only see some constable-type guards with a huge tummy and a lazy attitude. Employees of any bank should have a fixed uniform like it is there in the manufacturing companies.

Gautam:- No one will accept that proposal. In India, no one wants to wear a uniform in their workplaces.

Arindam:- You make it a mandatory rule, people will automatically follow it, because they have to earn a living by doing job in any of the company.

Sangeeta:- But, why employees of a company will have an uniform?

Arindam:- It is for security purpose. The moment you will see that uniform, you can make out that this person is an employee of this particular PSU Bank. Moreover, the safety vaults should be kept in a separate room with a separate entrance altogether. There should be 3 entrances. One to go towards bank counters, second to go towards the safety vaults and the third one is towards bank manager’s room. No customers will be allowed to enter inside the bank if they don’t show the passbook of the particular bank’s branch to the security guard. To open a new account, people need to talk with the agents inside an enclosure, outside the bank to complete all formalities. Lastly, “ALL BANK EMPLOYEES SHOULD HAVE A COMPUTERIZED BAR-CODED ID CARD” which should be swiped before entering inside the bank.

MAGICAL MUTHAIAH MURALITHARAN !!!

Tuhina:- The name of Pragyan Ojha will be remembered in the Cricket History for time and again.

Sadanand:- Why? What feat has been achieved by Pragyam Ojha?

Tuhina:- Arrey, babah…he is the 800^th victim of Muralitharan.

Sadanand:- Ha ha ha…well said. I have not watched the test match. Who won the test match between Sri Lanka and India?

Arindam:- India has been crushed like a sugarcane inside those wheel machines by the Sri Lankan team. Dhoni is lacking concentration towards the game of cricket after his marriage. But, what happened to the other Indian batsmen, I really don’t know. What to say about Indian bowling attack! Even Zimbabwe will score 400 runs in a test innings against this weak Indian bowling attack.

Tuhina:- Oh! Dude! Just forget about Indian batting, bowling and fielding. Even no one was thinking about the result of the test match. All eyes were on one man only. He was the real show-stealer in this test match. His name is Muthaia Muralitharan. Taking 800 wickets in test cricket is not a matter of joke and that too when the number of test matches are decreasing day by day after the advent of T-20 cricket.

Sadanand:- Test Cricket is the ideal format of cricket game. Test Cricket format helps you to find the real gentleman of cricket.

Arindam:- Hmm…really, there was one time, when people used to talk about Richard Hadlee. Then came our Kapil Dev Nikhanj. After that, Shane Warne, the leg spinner came to the limelight.

Sadanand:- Anil Kumble is a better leg-spinner than Shane Warne. Don’t forget that Anil Kumble is the 3^rd highest wicket taker in Test Cricket.

Mandira:- Ha ha ha…hey guys, do you people regard Anil Kumble as a leg-spinner? How funny! Batsmen used to get bowled out by assuming that Anil Kumble is going to bowl a spin delivery to them. Anil Kumble is a ‘fusion bowler’ of medium pace and spin bowling.

Arindam:- Ok, ok, I know that you have burned your hands many a times in analyzing the game of cricket and cricketers. Now, don’t burn your hands again, he he he…Accha, what kind of a bowler in Muralitharan of Sri Lanka?

Mandira:- Oh! He is a chucker. I still remember that Australian cricket board had objections on the actions of Muthaia Muralitharan and Shoaib Akhtar.

Arindam:- If Lasith Malinga is not a chucker, then no bowler in this world can be regarded as chucker. Australia used those ploys to weaken the bowling attack of Asian cricket teams. Even Brett Lee used to chuck at his initial stage of his cricket career.

Tuhina:- One thing I like about Muralitharan. He has a deadly demon-type aggressive facial expression before he delivers the ball. That deadly facial expression really works. The expression always has some impact on the psychology of a batsman.

Sadanand:- The real weapon of Muralitharan is his ‘doosra’ delivery. You never know when he is going to surprise you. Is there any cricket pitch in this world where Muthaia Muralitharan cannot spin the ball? The answer is a big ‘no’.

Arindam:- Can our turban man break Murali’s 800 wicket record? I don’t think so. Harbhajan Singh is way behind. Boss, Muralitharan is a genius spin bowler the world has ever seen. But, I really wonder that why he is resigning from Test Cricket so early. If he plays for another 2 years, then he will easily get 1000 wicket in Test Cricket. I think that the Sri Lankan Cricket Board should request him to continue playing Test Cricket. Without Muralitharan, the Sri Lankan Test team hardly has any other bowling weapon.

Mandira:- Many of you guys are not aware of his personal life. He is the son-in-law of Tamil Nadu. He has a son whose name is Naren. Let me tell you that Swami Vivekananda’s childhood name was also Naren.

Arindam:- Hmm…I was not aware of these information. Well done, Mandira. You are too much interested in personal life of cricketers rather than their professional life. Really, each and every information counts for a cricket commentator cum analyst like you. Anyway, Congrats to the “MAGICAL MUTHAIA MURALITHARAN (MMM)” for making his 800 wicket world record but we except him to withdraw his retirement decision and play test cricket for another 2 years.

PROBABLE MYSTERIES BEHIND THE TRAIN ACCIDENT AT SAINTHIA !!!

Fatikchand: - Hey Arindam, after seeing the spelling of the place ‘Sainthia’ and hearing the pronunciation of that place, I have now learnt the real pronunciation of your surname ‘Sain’. In your surname, the letter ‘n’ remains silent and is used as ‘Chandrabindu’ in Bengali. But, the local people of Sainthia have witnessed a tragic train accident after the Gaisal tragedy.

Arindam: - Yeah, indeed it is a very tragic one. One compartment has totally gone up in the air to hit the nearby over bridge of the Sainthia station. The death toll has now increased to 69. No one knows how many more passengers have died in that accident.

Rimjhim: - But, how that accident happened is still a mystery! Vivek Sahay had said that the driver has not obeyed the signal and drove the train at a speed of 90 Km per hour to enter Sainthia station.

Sukanya: - That means the signal was red? But, as per the preliminary CID investigation, some officials have got the information that the signal was green. The Vananchal Express was instructed to leave the Sainthia station. Even the Vananchal train started moving, but, some passengers pulled the chain to get down with the sacks of red chilies.

Fatikchand: - Hey, have you people listened to that news that Mamata Banerjee alleged this accident as a foul play by the Maoists. But the Home Ministry confirmed that the accident happened due to either human error or mechanical faults.

Arindam: - There is no doubt about the fact that this accident is the outcome of either human error or mechanical fault. But, someone is telling the lie. The problem for the investigation will be the death of those drivers of Uttarbanga express. The mystery remained with them only. But, still, during their post-mortem, if the forensic department scans their brain minutely, then a rough idea can be made about their psychological status before the accident. The conditions of their ‘brain-nerves’ before their death will give a lot of information about the accident. I have never heard in my life that a train driver drove the train towards the station despite seeing the red signal. How funny it sounds! Moreover, the drivers of Uttarbanga express were not the newly recruited ones. They were experienced drivers of Indian Railways.

Sukanya: - Why these trains do not have anti-collision devices?

Fatikchand: - The Railway Board people have said that the anti-collision devices are too costly and there are no proofs that these anti-collision devices will be a fruitful device to prevent major train accidents.

Sukanya: - before doing the experiment, they are coming to the conclusion that the grapes are sour. Really, that’s why, it is Indian Railways. There should be a very high-level investigation to find out the mysteries behind this Sainthia accident.

Arindam: - My sixth sense is saying something else. You people may laugh or criticize me, but, somehow, I can see what may have actually happened. The Vananchal Express was standing in Sainthia platform. There were no tracks available for the Uttarbanga Express to halt at Sainthia station. The Station Master may have instructed the drivers of Uttarbanga Express to gallop through the Sainthia Junction by taking another track. Maybe, that’s why, the drivers of Uttarbanga increased their speed to gallop through the junction. Then the biggest question is that where it actually may have went wrong. In earlier days, the trains were diverted to other tracks by mechanical process. But, nowadays, it is totally automated. Somehow, the Uttarbanga Express train was not diverted to the other track automatically. The station master of Sainthia was confident that the Uttarbanga Express will gallop through the other track as per the signal given. Even the drivers of Uttarbanga Express knew that their train will gallop through the other track. But both the station master and the Uttarbanga Express drivers were not aware that the track has not been diverted automatically. When the station master saw the Uttarbanga Express train running on the same track on which the Vananchal Express is standing, he just panicked and announced, ‘Please stay away from the Sainthia platform. A major accident can take place’. These can be the “PROBABLE MYSTERIES BEHIND THE TRAIN ACCIDENT AT SAINTHIA”. Let us wait and see what report comes out in the high-level investigations regarding this train accident.

INDIAN RAILWAYS IS STILL NOT MODERNIZED !!!

Jhilik: - After the Gyaneswari express accident, again, there is a deadly train accident in Bengal and that too within 2 months. It’s a shame for Mamata Banerjee. Ram Vilas Paswan has rightly remarked that Mamata Banerjee should either concentrate on Bengal politics or Indian Railways.

Arindam: - One thing I really don’t understand regarding the train accident at Sainthia. How two trains can collide with each other in a junction, unless there is a severe fault in the signaling system? How come it is possible that one train is standing on the platform and another train is running in? Why the train drivers of Uttarbanga express not aware of the fact that Vananchal Express is standing on the Sainthia platform? Mamata Banerjee should find out the railway officials and the station master who were in charge within 2 AM to 3 AM at Sainthia junction. The Gyaneswari express accident was a master-plan by the Maoists. Koteswar Rao ordered the 3 Mahatos to execute that plan. But in the case of Sainthia accident, the railway officials are the culprits.

Barik: - It can also happen that the drivers of Uttarbanga have not seen the signal at all. I don’t know whether you people have watched a program in CNN-IBN news channel last month or not. In that news program, it was completely revealed that the engines that are used in our Indian Railways are not at all secure. The design of those rail engines are such that a driver can miss to see any signal at night hours.

Shalik: - Yeah, yeah, I have also watched that program. Basically, still the Indian Railways are using those out-dated and old-fashioned rail engines. Indian Railways don’t have money or what? If they don’t have money, then how come Mamata Banerjee proposed so many projects in the Railway budget of 2010-11?

Manik: - What are you saying? Already in this financial budget, Pranab Mukherjee has increased the fund allocation for Indian Railways. But the irony is that the Mamata Banerjee has failed in utilizing that fund for the modernization of Indian Railways. Give me some facts and figures to show any improvement in Indian Railways under Mamata Banerjeee. Only the body colors of the trains have changed. Some superfast express trains have been inaugurated in the name of ‘Duranto Express’. Some new trains have been declared to connect different parts of India. That’s all. What about the security of the passengers? Mamata Banerjee is not at all acting like an able Railway Minister. As a Railway Minister, you cannot just sit inside your restroom and relax by saying that Maoists are a threat to Railways. If she knows that Maoists are a threat to Railways, then why she is not taking steps to provide extra security to each and every train passenger.

Barik: - You are right, Manik! Even last time, the Gyaneswari express accident happened because no railway guards patrolled around the railway tracks to check whether there was any problem in the rail tracks or not. There are no anti-collision devices in our Indian trains. In Japan and China, there are super sensors. The moment a train can sense another train within 100 meters, it just stops by using a self-automated emergency brakes. If you go and ask Mamata Banerjee that why Indian Railways cannot have a railway infrastructure like China or Japan, when Japan is very much eager to invest money in rail projects in India to modernize it; then Mamata Banerjee will straight away give you the remarks that this is India and Indian Railways cannot get as modernized as Chinese or Japanese Railways. At least, Laloo Prasad was far better than Mamata Banerjee. Laloo Prasad always dared to dream about the modernization of Indian Railways, but, Mamata Banerjee is always day dreaming about Writer’s Building only. That’s the biggest problem!

Jhilik: - Even there are not enough security guards in Indian trains. As a woman, I still feel insecure while travelling in trains, especially at nights. What to say about the foods in Indian Railways? It is better to starve rather than eat those stale foods of Indian Railways. The catering unit of Indian Railways is just bogus, especially the IRCTC. They only know how to do business.

Arindam: - Hmm…despite India being the first Asian country to have Railways, the “INDIAN RAILWAYS IS STILL NOT MODERNIZED”. That’s a shame for India.